Archive for the 'Travel' Category

Jun
4th
2008

At a standstill

By Kaiser Dämmerung

Allow me a moment to take the biggest, messiest, corn-studded SHIT on La Rosa del Monte.

We have been stuck in Orlando for nearly a week now, when the original plan was to hang out here probably for a weekend while the freighter company mentioned above did it's thing and released our car for pickup at their warehouse.

Wat has gone on for the past few days is an excruciating waiting period, much more painful than the acceptance letter from the Guildhall, since at least that last one I had a lot of faith in. But not with La Rosa. Since last Friday they have provided us with a shit ton of excuses and tentative dates for when they'll have our car ready, and when that date finally arrives, all ...Keep reading.

May
31st
2008

The most amazing fucking thing EVER

By Kaiser Dämmerung
As you all probably know, as of this post I'm in Orlando, starting my engines for the legendary trek to that mythical land called Texas. The whole flight was so easygoing and hassle free that it kinda scared me. After such a rare pleasant experience I expected everything to turn into a clusterfuck as soon as I set foot in Florida, but that was not the case. Even the cab ride to our motel was a breeze. The cabbie was a silent Jamaican dude who reminded me greatly of Little Jacob from Grand Theft Auto 4. I half expected him to pop open his trunk and try to sell us an AK47. Unfortunately we arrived at night, so we couldn't appreciate the scenery on our way to our fabulous, luxurious Motel 6. Now let me tell you something about Orlando. This city is a gigantic living, breathing ...Keep reading.
May
29th
2008

I’m leeeeaaviiiiiiing on a jet plaaaaane!

By Kaiser Dämmerung
Sorry to bring up suc a sappy song to describe wat i'm going troug, but tere's no oter way around it. Today, Thursday, on the 29th day of May of the year 2008, I BAIL TE FUCK OUT OF PUERTO RICO. By te way, I'm still writing on a laptop wit a busted H, so if you ave a pet peeve for grammar I suggest you equally bail te fuck out of tis post and all subsequent posts tat pop up until I can ook up my desktop again. You've been warned, grammar nazis. Back to topic: yes, today is te day were my life is bound to take a uge turn and I migt as well document it on my blog, even if I ave to fuck it ...Keep reading.

Older Stuff

Praise the Lord… While rockin’ the fuck out!

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, you bet your ass some money hungry Christoids want a piece of the profitable band simulation market. After the rampant success of Guitar Hero and Rockband, they needed to find an excuse to cater to all those "young sheep" whose brains are so wiped of all independent thought to the point where they are not allowed to hear or even like mainstream popular music. And what better way to do ...

Well I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby

Meet Aliana Lohan. For those of you that are at least aware of the lifestyles of the rich and heinous and numerous websites devoted to them, she's the younger sister of ambiguously lesbian whorebag trainwreck actress/"singer" Lindsay Lohan. I usually don't pay attention to Z-list little shits like her, but when she opens her mouth and spouts stuff like THIS, it's ...

The Potato Peel Crisis

So DS wanted to make potato salad. Eh, why not. He makes a damn good potato salad. Great, today's lunch menu is decided. Soon enough I see him in the kitchen doing something that looked... questionable. No, he wasn't doing lewd things to the potatoes or drizzling them with any sort of "special dressing", he was just pushing tons and tons of potato peels through the trash disposal. But really pushing them like an unwanted ...