Archive for the 'Sex' Category

Aug
14th
2008

Well I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby

By Kaiser Dämmerung

Meet Aliana Lohan. For those of you that are at least aware of the lifestyles of the rich and heinous and numerous websites devoted to them, she's the younger sister of ambiguously lesbian whorebag trainwreck actress/"singer" Lindsay Lohan. I usually don't pay attention to Z-list little shits like her, but when she opens her mouth and spouts stuff like THIS, it's hard not to want to just grab her, dope her up, saw open up her skull and take a huge shit inside, at least that way it can be filled with something resembling a brain. Apparently, little bitch is jealous of big ol' sister. Here are some precious quotes from her interview in Us Magazine, along with some visual reference to put her words in perspective: "I grew up watching Lindsay"

...Keep reading.

May
16th
2008

The best way to spend $15 million

By Kaiser Dämmerung
If you needed further evidence that wealth is always distributed among the unworthy, hell, if you need further evidence that there is no god, just check out what an anonymous and very rich someone recently bought in a Sotheby's auction.

A lifesize anime statue. But not just any statue. It's an original Takashi Murakami sculpture. And yes, that white stuf swirling around the spunky, ecstatic anime character is EXACTLY what you think it is. If you don't believe me, click on the image to see the full statue. Needless to say, the image is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Apparently whoever bought this did it over the phone. And with good reason. Would you like tho be the person raising your hand in an auction room when this thing is standing ...Keep reading.
Apr
15th
2008

Women are weird

By Kaiser Dämmerung
I don't know about you, but I can't help but feel weirded out when a random female makes a pass at me or gives me that "I wanna tear your clothes off with my teeth look". Seriously. I freeze up and given the chance I'd stick my head in the dirt like an ostrich. It's just fucking weird and too much to handle for me. And I have no idea why. Earlier today I went to buy lunch and I was kinda "eye-raped" by a chola. What's a chola, you ask?

hows it going essse

THIS is a chola.

For those who are too lazy to click the link, here's the copypasta: chola hardcore latina gangbangers. They usually have thin, arched, angry looking tattooed-on or penciled-on eyebrows, brown or dark red lip liner, 'Monroe', eyebrow and nose piercings, tats, Converse or ...Keep reading.
Mar
27th
2008

Why do we stash our porn?

By Kaiser Dämmerung
porn-stash.jpg Seriously. It's like we're preparing for some inevitable "porn holocaust" and we feel the need to create our own "archive". Why do men feel the need to hoard dozens upon dozens of precious gigs of hard drive space in order to create their little empire of smut? Before you call me a hypocrite, I must admit that I, too, am guilty of this sin. I can't tell you how many gigs exactly I got stored since I'm at work, but last time I checked I had nearly 10GB of pics and movies. And DS has probably twice that amount. That perv. I can see the need for it in case the internet is down and you can't visit your favorite smut sites when "the urge" hits. But when your collection reaches, say, 120GB of fapping material, possibly requiring an extra hard drive specifically for that task, I'd say we got ...Keep reading.
Mar
18th
2008

Saying goodbye to an old friend

By Kaiser Dämmerung
One of the hardest things to do when you're moving away overseas is getting rid of the stuff that you can't carry over. But there's one object that's gonna be the hardest loss for me. I'm talking about this old girl: explorer-95.jpg Old faithful here has been with me for years, and has lived through so much fucked up shit with me it's hard to account it all without having to read this whole blog again or going down memory lane with family, friends, lovers, exes, one night stands, and the shitload of people that placed their asses in it's grey, dusty seats. Of course I wouldn't forget the juicy stuff, like the hot backseat sex (folding seats FTW), hauling drunken friends back to ther houses since I was always the designated driver, helping said friends sneak out of their oppressive households in the middle of the night so they could ...Keep reading.

Older Stuff

The Potato Peel Crisis

So DS wanted to make potato salad. Eh, why not. He makes a damn good potato salad. Great, today's lunch menu is decided. Soon enough I see him in the kitchen doing something that looked... questionable. No, he wasn't doing lewd things to the potatoes or drizzling them with any sort of "special dressing", he was just pushing tons and tons of potato peels through the trash disposal. But really pushing them like an unwanted ...

What the fuck is wrong with Puerto Rico’s Blogging community?!

It's been quite a long while since I went over to Puertoblogs to see what's new. I haven't had time to sit down and read through all the self centered drivel that clogs the internet today, and now that I finally got to do it, I wish i had not. Holy Fucking Shit. Yes, it is self centered because that's exactly what ...

It’s Happy Fun Exploration Time!

OK, so even though we seem to have moved into apartment paradise, there comes a time when you get cabin fever and for fear of smacking the shit out of your significant other when he makes you jump out of your seat by screaming like a rape victim for the 17th time because he's playing Gears of War and a sniper just blew his fucking head off, you know that it's time to ...