-Shigeru Miyamoto, Nintendo's Head Game Designer, creator of Zelda, Mario, Donkey Kong, Star Fox and Pikmin. Also referred to as GOD.

The evidence:

As of this Sunday: Don't call me, don't message me, don't even bother looking for me. I will be parading around Hyrule and I don't even know when I'll come back. If you have some business with me, feel free to leave me a voicemail or email, or what the hell, even a written letter. None of them hold the possibility of me answering, but you're free to give it a try. If there is a God (Miyamoto!) I'll probably answer.

See you in the distant future!

Posted in Geek Stuff, OMG | 18 Comments »

Continuing with the trend of ridiculous spam that makes it through my Gmail's filter, I present you with a literary treasure (TRASHure?), courtesy of a word generating bot and a very, VERY idiotic ethanol company trying to pimp their "rapidly increasing" stock. I won't even mention their name, the fuckers, even though they made me laugh out loud with their stupid little spambot.

Anyway, "Anita Heard" was the generated name for the sender, and as I read I couldn't imagine a woman in such a disturbed state of mind that she would crank up shit like this just for kicks. Leave it to a machine to come up with this sort of unadulterated insanity. If a woman in real life is able to articulate stuff like this, I picture her in the padded white room of an insane asylum, ...Keep reading.

Posted in OMG, Rants | 5 Comments »

Remember this guy? Who polluted our minds in the late 80's-early 90's afternoons, along with Alf and Mr. Belvedere?

 

 

Well, sign up another one for Lance Bass's League of Forcefully Ousted Celebrities. Neil Patrick Harris gave in to the pressure and confessed he's a big ol' queen!

 

Who, me?

Yeah, you, you Cher-loving pansy. And to think, that all those years I spent watching the series people always wondered what your medical specialty was. Now I get it. You played a young, gifted PROCTOLOGIST. No wonder you developed an affinity for poking men in the ass.

Apparently the reason he came out was the same as Lance. He got sick and tired of the internet rumors and speculation now that he's back in the spotlight in a new sitcom, So he decided to "do a Lance" ...Keep reading.

Posted in OMG | 9 Comments »

SO I WAS LIEK, MINDING MAH OWN BIZ HERE IN MAH CUBICLE LOOKIN' ALL FLY AN SHIT, AND THEN I HEAR ALL THESE PEOPLES RUNNING ALL AROUND AND I'M LIEK WTF? IS THERE LIKE SOME FIRE OR SOME SHIT GOING ON? CAUSE LIKE I DON'T HEAR NO ALARM AND IF THOSE FUCKIN WATER SQUIRT THINGS IN TEH CEILING START SPRINKLIN IT GON' FUCK UP MA HAIRDO. AND THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT. THAT DOMINICAN LADY ON MAH BUILDIN SPEND LIKE 6 HOURS MAKING MA HAIR STRAIGHT. SO I GET UP MA SEAT AND GO TO WHERE ALL THESE BITCHES BE GOING AND THEY ALL HUDDLING AROUND SOMETHIN SMALL AND HAIRY AND I'M LIKE HEEEEY, HEY... HAY!!!!!! BITCH GET OUTTA MY WAY! GET OFF MA FACE!!! GIT YO ASS OUT THE WAY!!!1 AND I PUSH ALL THEM NASTY BITCHES ASIDE.

AND THEN I SEES HIM:

...Keep reading.

Posted in Celebs, Frivolities, OMG, Work | 20 Comments »

LIEK... OMG!!!1!!1!!shift+1!! I WAS AT TEH WORK AND THEN I HEAR TEH PEOPLES MURMURING SOME SHIT AND I WAS LIEK WTF? AND THEN I FOUND OUT THAT WE WERE GONNA BE VISITED BY LIKE, DADDY YANKEE AND SHIET! OMG!!!! DADDY YANKEE TEH DUDE WHO SINGS THAT FUNKY GASOLINE SONG AND TEH OTHER SONG THAT TELLS YOU TO BREAK STUFF!!!11! SO I SAID LIEK, OMG I HAVE GOT TO STALK TIHS GUY HE IS LIEK SO FAMOUS AN STUFF HE SANG ON TEH MTV AWARDS AND STUFF!!1 AND THEN I STARTED ROAMING AROUND WITH MY PHONE CAMERA AND SHIT AND SUDDENLY I WAS LIEK OMG THERE HE IS!!1!!

HOLY FUXXORZ I CANT BELEIVE I GOTS DADDY YANKEE SO CLOSE TO ME! I MEAN WE'S ONLY SEPERATED BY A THIN SHEET OF GLASS!! FOR REALS YO!!!1

...Keep reading.

Posted in Celebs, Frivolities, OMG, Work | 21 Comments »