Archive for the 'Frivolities' Category

Nov
4th
2004

Cover my nipples in whipped cream

By Kaiser Dämmerung

Ok, so I was thinking of a title for this entry but I went all blank, so I stared randomly at the Freak Wall and that was the first image I got a glimpse of.

What is the Freak Wall, you ask?
Well, once upon a time, when unicorns, nymphs and fairies frolicked gayly in the woods, I became very, very bored, and noticed a rather high pile of old issues of Entertainment Weekly lying around my room, gathering dust and forever feeding my neverending allergies. I started browsing them, looking at the pictures and the layouts with my "graphic designer's" eye, not reading anything but figuring out how the magazine was put together and what techniques were used, which is a curse that follows me whenever I browse any publication, and started soon after I began studying design. It turns out many of the pictures and illustrations caught my eye ...Keep reading.

Oct
5th
2004

Looking for the other two heads

By Kaiser Dämmerung

In a fit of utter boredom I found one of these stupid user-made tests where it rates your answers in order to compare you with an ancient mythological creature. I was genuinely expecting to be compared with something like, say, a unicorn, or a mermaid, or what the hell, even a faerie, but this is what I got instead:

Cerberus
Cerberus is the three headed dog that guards the gates of Hell. You are very agressive but only towards people who deserve it. You also seem to be able to sense when a person is lying. People stay away from you-afraid of your judgemental eye- but that doesnt bother you. You are self dependent.


I do feel intense flares of hatred towards people who piss me off. But they usually don't last very long. I do sense when people ...Keep reading.

Sep
22nd
2004

Dress my family in… Chiffon and Lycra?

By Kaiser Dämmerung

I am currently reading David Sedaris' Dress Your Family In Corduroy And Denim, and that novel (Not really a novel, more like a collection of essays, which are fucking brilliant) has just blown me the hell away. Just check out this excerpt:

Lauren was Walt's sister, who was born prematurely and lived for less than two days. This had happenned before the Winterses moved to our street, but it wasn't any kind of secret, and you weren't supposed to flinch upon hearing the girl's name. The baby had died too soon to pose for photographs, but still she was regarded as a full fledged member of the family. She had a christmas stocking the size of a mitten, and they even threw her an annual birthday party, a fact that my mother found especially creepy.
"Let's hope they don't invite us," she said. "I mean, Jesus, how do you shop for ...Keep reading.

Sep
4th
2004

Like, ohmygawd

By Kaiser Dämmerung

In one of those moments of sheer boredom, I started browsing my dusty CD collection. After seeing each and every one of the 100+ titles that threaten to fracture the CD case's spine like an old lady's hip after being pushed down a flight of stairs, I came to the brilliant and incisive conclusion that I have a really, really fucked up taste for music.
Can you imagine what goes on in the head of a guy who likes both Stone Temple Pilots and Britney Spears?
Exactly.
At least I would have an excuse calling some of my CD's "guilty pleasures", but I'm not gonna lie to you, I greatly enjoy listening to disposable fluff like BB Mak, La Bouche and (the horror!) Kelly Clarkson. Yes. Kelly Clarkson. You can stop wincing now, asshole.
The thing is, If those are guilty pleasures, I don't feel "guilty" at all. Should I ...Keep reading.

Aug
31st
2004

Test drive

By Kaiser Dämmerung

Ugh... I almost feel as if i was following some sort of fad, like when I bought me a furby.
Yes, a furby. I bought one. Problem? Tell it to my assistant. Her name is Fukoff. She's half russian, half japanese.
It's not the first time I do this, as a matter of fact I used to do this exact same thing on an old notebook I had lying around, which, of course, I had to destroy. Wrote some pretty nasty, hurtful shit on that one. Dark time, were those (circa 2000). I only kept remnants of the things I liked, which in turn became part of the essays I've published, once I distilled all the venom and chopped off some of the whining.
However, there was one other person who ever read that little notepad from hell. Now, I have the advantage of spreading a daily (if I feel ...Keep reading.

Older Stuff

The Prodigal Blogger Syndrome

Just like every blogger on the face of the earth, there comes a season when the well just runs dry and you neglect your "duties", your idiotic vow to entertain the half a dozen people who stumble by your page from time to time, checking if there is anything interesting/funny/salacious to read, skimming the loads of text you ...

So Kaiser, what you been up to?

Wow it's been long since I saw Wordpress' dashboard. Holy shit. As some of you may know, 2 months ago I embarked on the adventure of a lifetime (For a nerd): I enrolled in a Videogame design and development school, which will keep me busy for 17 months and in the end will supply me with not only a full Master's Degree in Videogame Art ...

Praise the Lord… While rockin’ the fuck out!

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, you bet your ass some money hungry Christoids want a piece of the profitable band simulation market. After the rampant success of Guitar Hero and Rockband, they needed to find an excuse to cater to all those "young sheep" whose brains are so wiped of all independent thought to the point where they are not allowed to hear or even like mainstream popular music. And what better way to do ...