...and stuff a shit-ton of things you couldn't bring into prison so we can smuggle it in on our next prison visit day!

 

I'm starting this initiative since Tor is a broken man and needs to do something to make Paris feel al better, since his world revolves around her (plus we need him to continue the "Paris Hilton Chronicles" he has been religiously writing on the newspaper).

 Inside that cake we could smuggle a few things Paris could find helpful or comforting, like:

A Blackberry or Sidekick. Girlfriend needs to get her text message on!

Clippings from the whole media frenzy she has created (including, of course, Tor's riveting newspaper saga of Paris' pain and suffering).

Sarah Silverman's severed head

Lindsay's coked out knife pics so she has something to laugh about....Keep reading.

Posted in Celebs, Frivolities, WTF | 9 Comments »

Tags: Paris, Hilton, Jail, Smuggle, Cake, Whore, Cry

No, you perverts, I'm not talking about this sort of thing [DO NOT OPEN THIS LINK AT WORK UNLESS YOU WANNA GET FIRED ON THE SPOT].

I mean it figuratively, of course. The reason why I decided to break my work-imposed vow of blog silence is that yesterday I enrolled myself in an aerobic kickboxing class, and today was my first day.

 

Holy Jesus fucking Christ in a titty bar, you have no fucking idea how out of shape you really are until you take a class like this. Within minutes of starting the class I was sweating bullets, my heart was about to jump out of my chest like an Alien, and I could barely lift my legs to kick or raise my knees. I was a mess. Several times the assistant dude had to stop me and take me ...Keep reading.

Posted in Frivolities, Reveries | 10 Comments »

If you want to find out what the hell you're looking at, then click on the thumbnail and unravel the mystery. But only do so if and only if you were one of those who actually gave a damn about the previous post.

Posted in Celebs, Frivolities, Gay | 10 Comments »

SO I WAS LIEK, MINDING MAH OWN BIZ HERE IN MAH CUBICLE LOOKIN' ALL FLY AN SHIT, AND THEN I HEAR ALL THESE PEOPLES RUNNING ALL AROUND AND I'M LIEK WTF? IS THERE LIKE SOME FIRE OR SOME SHIT GOING ON? CAUSE LIKE I DON'T HEAR NO ALARM AND IF THOSE FUCKIN WATER SQUIRT THINGS IN TEH CEILING START SPRINKLIN IT GON' FUCK UP MA HAIRDO. AND THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT. THAT DOMINICAN LADY ON MAH BUILDIN SPEND LIKE 6 HOURS MAKING MA HAIR STRAIGHT. SO I GET UP MA SEAT AND GO TO WHERE ALL THESE BITCHES BE GOING AND THEY ALL HUDDLING AROUND SOMETHIN SMALL AND HAIRY AND I'M LIKE HEEEEY, HEY... HAY!!!!!! BITCH GET OUTTA MY WAY! GET OFF MA FACE!!! GIT YO ASS OUT THE WAY!!!1 AND I PUSH ALL THEM NASTY BITCHES ASIDE.

AND THEN I SEES HIM:

...Keep reading.

Posted in Celebs, Frivolities, OMG, Work | 20 Comments »

LIEK... OMG!!!1!!1!!shift+1!! I WAS AT TEH WORK AND THEN I HEAR TEH PEOPLES MURMURING SOME SHIT AND I WAS LIEK WTF? AND THEN I FOUND OUT THAT WE WERE GONNA BE VISITED BY LIKE, DADDY YANKEE AND SHIET! OMG!!!! DADDY YANKEE TEH DUDE WHO SINGS THAT FUNKY GASOLINE SONG AND TEH OTHER SONG THAT TELLS YOU TO BREAK STUFF!!!11! SO I SAID LIEK, OMG I HAVE GOT TO STALK TIHS GUY HE IS LIEK SO FAMOUS AN STUFF HE SANG ON TEH MTV AWARDS AND STUFF!!1 AND THEN I STARTED ROAMING AROUND WITH MY PHONE CAMERA AND SHIT AND SUDDENLY I WAS LIEK OMG THERE HE IS!!1!!

HOLY FUXXORZ I CANT BELEIVE I GOTS DADDY YANKEE SO CLOSE TO ME! I MEAN WE'S ONLY SEPERATED BY A THIN SHEET OF GLASS!! FOR REALS YO!!!1

...Keep reading.

Posted in Celebs, Frivolities, OMG, Work | 21 Comments »