Evening readers! Guess what today I'll treat you to yet another BITCH FEST, hosted, caused and provided by, who else?
The King and Queen of the Damned, the Unholy Alliance, The Demonic Duo: Lucifer & Lillith, a.k.a. mum and dad!
The setting for the unexpected bitch-fest?
ELECTION DAY!
Yaaaaaaaay!

As everybody knows, I have never given a blistering, rancid fuck about politics in any shape or form, and it was my intention to sit on my ass all through election day while everyone marched their responsible little asses to the voting booth. Now I'm not saying that I'm irresponsible or apathetic, it's just that... Why am I going to make an effort choosing between three pricks that offer the exact same thing? Oh sure, everyone is saying that these candidates are kinda shitty and that it is our right to choose between the lesser of three evils, but what if I ...Keep reading.

Posted in Family, Rants, WTF | 3 Comments »

Alright you'se ho's & bitches, here's a play by play recount of what went on during my quest for perfect vision and the ability to sport designer sunglasses. This all went on on friday, October 15th.

12:00pm - Woke up at noon on friday. Pooped my pants. Today I was gonna get surgery. SURGERY! I wanted to make the most of the day, but fuck me, I overslept. Started to clean my room compulsively because I thought that I'd come back so blind I'd stumble with all the shit littering it.

12:05pm - As soon as I wake up I hear Lillith taking shit from Lucifer, who is royally pissed off because he wasn't properly informed that I was going ahead with the procedure. Yeah, it may have "slipped" my mind to tell him it was today, but bear in mind that weeks before I had suggested the idea, and the answer ...Keep reading.

Posted in Family, Lasik, OMG | 7 Comments »

In a fit of utter boredom I found one of these stupid user-made tests where it rates your answers in order to compare you with an ancient mythological creature. I was genuinely expecting to be compared with something like, say, a unicorn, or a mermaid, or what the hell, even a faerie, but this is what I got instead:

I do feel intense flares of hatred towards people who piss me off. But they usually don't last very long. I do sense when people ...Keep reading.

Posted in Family, Frivolities, Reveries, WTF | 2 Comments »

My oh my, what a deep and thoughtful-sounding title for a blog entry. I bet I'll end up smearing it wit yet another wad of mental jerk-off.
The title refers to the overall suckiness of today. Apparently I have spent my useful days at my part time gig in the newspaper, so I was told not to go anymore unless I'm called. Great, because lately I was feeling like a fifth wheel again, which pisses me off to no end. I abhor feeling useless! I was just standing around doing sporadic little nothings that regular employees were too lazy or tired to do themselves. But when even that kind of work is unavailable, all I can do is just hang around like a bum, occupying space and being shifted from chair to chair everytime it's rightful owner came back. It's a pretty fucked up work situation, and I can't even ...Keep reading.

Posted in Family, Reveries, WTF, Work | 4 Comments »

So I went and got an eye exam. I wanted to find out if I'm a candidate for laser eye surgery, and boy, did they do a number on me.
Apparently they had to dilate my pupils so they can take a better look inside my eyeballs. What a fucking trip. The effect caused by the dilating eyedrops feels as if your eyes were being tied with a tiny rope. Or if a small fist was squeezing them from inside your eyeballs.
After all the tests were made, I looked myself in a mirror. Holy demonic posessions, Batman! My pupils were so big that I could only see a big black hole with a dark brown rim where my iris was supposed to be. It freaked me out at first, but then I started laughing maniacally, because I thought I looked like this little fella.

I had to be driven ...Keep reading.

Posted in Family, Lasik | No Comments »