Archive for August, 2008

Aug
30th
2008

Praise the Lord… While rockin’ the fuck out!

By Kaiser Dämmerung
Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, you bet your ass some money hungry Christoids want a piece of the profitable band simulation market. After the rampant success of Guitar Hero and Rockband, they needed to find an excuse to cater to all those "young sheep" whose brains are so wiped of all independent thought to the point where they are not allowed to hear or even like mainstream popular music. And what better way to do this than with the next thing since sliced... communion wafers? I'm talking about:

WO0O0O0O0O0O! *devil horn sign*

...Oh shit wait I can't do that! this is Jesus music. *Raises hands in praise, closes eyes and mutters uninteligibly* For just $100 you too can rock out with your cock er... crucifix out to the solid sounds of wholesome christian rock, without the influence of ...Keep reading.
Aug
14th
2008

Well I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby

By Kaiser Dämmerung

Meet Aliana Lohan. For those of you that are at least aware of the lifestyles of the rich and heinous and numerous websites devoted to them, she's the younger sister of ambiguously lesbian whorebag trainwreck actress/"singer" Lindsay Lohan. I usually don't pay attention to Z-list little shits like her, but when she opens her mouth and spouts stuff like THIS, it's hard not to want to just grab her, dope her up, saw open up her skull and take a huge shit inside, at least that way it can be filled with something resembling a brain. Apparently, little bitch is jealous of big ol' sister. Here are some precious quotes from her interview in Us Magazine, along with some visual reference to put her words in perspective: "I grew up watching Lindsay"

...Keep reading.

Aug
12th
2008

The Potato Peel Crisis

By Kaiser Dämmerung
So DS wanted to make potato salad. Eh, why not. He makes a damn good potato salad. Great, today's lunch menu is decided. Soon enough I see him in the kitchen doing something that looked... questionable. No, he wasn't doing lewd things to the potatoes or drizzling them with any sort of "special dressing", he was just pushing tons and tons of potato peels through the trash disposal. But really pushing them like an unwanted baby through a toilet. I found it weird that he decided to use that instead of the more accesible trash can just three fucking steps away from him, but hey, whathever. That's what garbage disposals are for, right Kevin Spacey?

You see, garbage disposals are designed to take a moderate amount of soft garbage and chop it up in chunks that are small enough to ...Keep reading.

Older Stuff

Praise the Lord… While rockin’ the fuck out!

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, you bet your ass some money hungry Christoids want a piece of the profitable band simulation market. After the rampant success of Guitar Hero and Rockband, they needed to find an excuse to cater to all those "young sheep" whose brains are so wiped of all independent thought to the point where they are not allowed to hear or even like mainstream popular music. And what better way to do ...

Well I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby

Meet Aliana Lohan. For those of you that are at least aware of the lifestyles of the rich and heinous and numerous websites devoted to them, she's the younger sister of ambiguously lesbian whorebag trainwreck actress/"singer" Lindsay Lohan. I usually don't pay attention to Z-list little shits like her, but when she opens her mouth and spouts stuff like THIS, it's ...

The Potato Peel Crisis

So DS wanted to make potato salad. Eh, why not. He makes a damn good potato salad. Great, today's lunch menu is decided. Soon enough I see him in the kitchen doing something that looked... questionable. No, he wasn't doing lewd things to the potatoes or drizzling them with any sort of "special dressing", he was just pushing tons and tons of potato peels through the trash disposal. But really pushing them like an unwanted ...