I can’t believe I haven’t posted anything since we were stationed in a shitty cockroachy motel in Louisiana. Time has really flown since we arrived here. I have lost track of time so badly, I don’t even know what day it is anymore. I had to put a gigantic widget with the full date in my computer. Having so much free time makes you lose touch with reality. Oh well, I’ll enjoy the shit out of it while I have time. Soon enough waking up late will become a rare luxury.

So, what has gone on since we arrived in this charming, relatively young city? Well…

We started off on the wrong side of the law by “borrowing” internet. But only for a few days, don’t judge! It took a week to get Internet service and then soon after we spent another week without it thanks to Time Warner’s negligent technicians, so these last couple of weeks we’ve survived thanks to a stray unsecured connection that was so weak it took a few minutes to charge up even Google. Rampant thievery aside, Time Warner’s connection is good, but their customer service is utter shit. I trust DS will put you up to speed with their incompetence soon. I’ve never seen him this pissed at anyone over the phone. Programmers really flip their shit and go through withdrawal syndrome when they’re offline for too long. Scary stuff.

The highlight of this ordeal was when they actually sent us a Hallmark card that said “we’re sorry we let you down “. You hypocritical cockmongrels. If you were equally dedicated with your customer service as you are with sending inane greeting cards we wouldn’t have laughed as hard at your lame attempt to prevent us from switching services. But alas, they came through today and we were spared from getting into a 1 year assrape contract with Verizon and dumping their careless asses for vandalizing our connection for no reason at all.

I’m such a fucking nerd. Talking so much shit about Internet and not a single thing about Plano. Well, what can I say. This town is the physical manifestation of Suburbia. The lawns are so perfectly kept, the flowers fresh and always blooming in every front yard, the houses are perfectly aligned hunks of red brick and wood. Classy shit. And the malls. Oh my fucking god this town is CRAWLING with them. I shit you not, there’s a fucking shopping mall in every corner. And I don’t mean a ratty strip mall, I mean fucking huge complexes dedicated to take your wallet and fuck it long and hard. Seriously they make Plaza las Américas look like el colmadito de la esquina. To give you an idea, in less than five minutes by car I’m surrounded by: Walmart Supercenter, Sam’s Club (they’re side by side like little brothers), Target Supercenter, Circuit City, Best Buy, Marshalls, JC Penney, Macy’s, Olive Garden, Aplebees, Red Lobster, Fudruckers, The Cheesecake Factory, Petsmart (gigantic, Walmart-like store for pets) and last but not least, Ikea, where we bought our relatively cheap fuck pit king sized bed.

We REALLY have to exercize our self control to not go in a shopping spree and blow out all our savings or go eat out every night. We have to constantly remind ourselves that we still have no income, and yet we’ve managed to visit and buy stuff at about half of all those stores I’ve mentioned. At least it was all basic necessities, like food, cleaning supplies, a table, and most importantly, the fuck pit– I mean the bed.

I’m really sorry I have no pictures to share, that is probably the only thing we have neglected to do in our whole stay here. Inexcusable, I know. But I promise that my next post will be all pics and little words.

Oh right! The apartment. Well, what can I say. It’s pretty big considering we’ll be paying less than 700 bucks a month. Plus we got a stove, microwave, fridge and dishwasher into the whole deal.  Want more? The complex has 2 pools, laundromat and a gym with a steam room. For a place like this back in the PR we could be getting fucked out of $2000 or more per month. And we have hares and squirrels running wild in our backyard! So cute! Until they bite and infect your ass with rabies. Also, Texas crows are the size of fucking chickens. Jesus.

I also had a chance to do a quick visit to my future dungeon/campus, and let me tell ya, I want classes to start yesterday. I am so fucking stoked. Even the fact that I’ll be thousands of dollars in debt at the end of this journey can’t take away the feeling of “holy shit I’m starting a brand new chapter in my life”. It’s like the first time you play an RPG you really really like. No skills, no spells, no items, barely any money, and an eagerness to just go out and save the world, and by the time you are done fighting and advancing and grinding with your group of fellow adventurers, you have so many new skills, the best armor, the most powerful spells and the best items to take on the final boss (or in our case, the job search) and smite the shit out of it.

So yeah, this whole thing is gonna be like my own private Final Fantasy, but unlike the Final Fantasy series, my storyline is actually going to have a point and make sense.

Posted in Big 'Ol Texas, Dark Soul, Travel |

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