As you all probably know, as of this post I’m in Orlando, starting my engines for the legendary trek to that mythical land called Texas.

The whole flight was so easygoing and hassle free that it kinda scared me. After such a rare pleasant experience I expected everything to turn into a clusterfuck as soon as I set foot in Florida, but that was not the case. Even the cab ride to our motel was a breeze. The cabbie was a silent Jamaican dude who reminded me greatly of Little Jacob from Grand Theft Auto 4. I half expected him to pop open his trunk and try to sell us an AK47. Unfortunately we arrived at night, so we couldn’t appreciate the scenery on our way to our fabulous, luxurious Motel 6.

Now let me tell you something about Orlando. This city is a gigantic living, breathing tourist trap. And not in a bad way. The city is so clean, so organized and everything seems so perfect and clean cut that you kind of get hypnotized into having a good time and splurge your ass out. Even two temporary bums like us with a limited budget and a limited stay are sometimes pulled by the allure, but our main mission keeps us in check, as hard as it may be. I mean everywhere you fucking look: Theme parks, restaurants, water parks, go-kart tracks, all-you-can-eat buffets. Fuck! it’s like the whole damn city is a gigantic transvestite hooker beckoning you to come and snort Tinkerbell’s fairy dust off of it’s ass. It’s like a PG13 version of Vegas. Yep, there’s screaming, unruly kids kids everywhere (my kryptonite), since it’s the beginning of fucking summer. Aside from money, that’s another factor that keeps us out of the parks. Fucking snot machines. We just had to arrive here smack dab in the beginning of the “high season”. Ugh.

*in case you noticed, the letter H in my keyboard is now just dangling off, so somehow I don’t have to press it as hard. So for your relief, hopefully there will be no more H-less posts.*

But Orlando and it’s fake charm is not the highlight of these days. Oh no. If you read my previous post, the one I made a few hours before I got on the plane, I made a particular comment that went like this:

Well, I’m off to bed, need my beauty sleep in order to mentally prepare for te crazyness tat will be tomorrow. Even thoug I ave a suspicion it will all be anti-climactic and uneventful. Unless I get my acceptance letter rigt before going to te airport. Tat would make it te best fucking fligt ever.

Well, as soon as I arrived in Orlando, we immediately proceeded to set up our wi-fi connection. Yes, even before we unpacked. Hey, don’t hate. We’re geeks. Internet is our lifeblood. Without it we wither and die. So anyway I opened up my email and saw a particular one that made my heart skip a beat. I opened it and inside I found this:

Let’s see. What were those words that went through my mind? Ah, yes:

OOOOOOOOOH SHIT BITCHES I MADE IT! I’M IN! I. AM. IN!!!!! I MADE IT INTO THE GUILDHALL YA’ALL MOTHAFUCKAS BETTA RECOGNIZE I AM DA BOMB DIGGITY MACK WITH A MOTHAFUCKIN’ CHERRY ON TOP! TOLDJA I WOULD MAKE IT! I TOLD YO’ASS HAAAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!! ALL YA’AL NONBELIEVERS WHO WERE LIKE “WHAT IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT IN!” WELL GUESS WHAT BITCHES: *EAT IT!!!* THAT’S RIGHT! I AM OFFICIALLY POINTING AT MY DICK AND SAYING *EAT IT!* YOU NAY-SAYING CUMBUCKETS! YOU NEGATIVE CUNT FARTS!!! YOU CASTRATING COCK PIRATES!!! YOU CAN’T TELL ME NOTHIN! KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I GOT IN. I GOT IN. IN YO’ FACE. THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN AT?! HUH?! OH THAT’S RIGHT. YOU LOOKIN’ AT A BRAND NEW GUILDHALL STUDENT MOTHAFUCK-AAAAA! WHAT! WHAT! YEAAAAAA BOIIIIIII!!!!

*Relaxovision*

Whew! that’s a load off my chest. So yes. As of last friday, I am a student in the prestigious Guildhall, most awesome of game development schools, where I shall train incessantly to become a kickass game art designer.

What is most remarkable about this revelation is that the comment I made on my blog actually CAME TRUE. I just threw out there the possibility of being accepted just before boarding the plane, and lo and behold, the plane left like a quarter after 8 p.m., and the e-mail’s time of arrival is 7:40 p.m.!!!! That right there is the most freakishly awesome thing that has ever happened in my life. It’s like I willed the application into existence. Somewhere out there that bitch who wrote The Secret must be gushing rivers of joy out of her million dollar vagina. Shit is unreal. If I had checked my email right before boarding the plane I would have flipped the fuck out and those Travel Security people would have tasered and cavity searched the shit out of me.

_{Hmmm. University acceptance letter plus a cavity search? could such a state of Nirvana exist in this world of ours?}

I’d like to give a shout out to all ma’ bitches and hoes thank all my friends who supported me and assured me that I’d make it, and to the ones who doubted me, even in thought, I repeat:

EAT IT. EAT IT LONG AND HARD AND COVERED IN CAPSAICIN.

Bitches.

Anyway I’m going to bed. We have a long day tomorrow  and It’s very likely that we set out to Texas on the same day. If we are, expect many pictures to surface soon, and the upcoming housewarming non-party at our new crib in Plano.

Later gator.

Posted in Geek Stuff, OMG, Travel |

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