Oh yeah. That's right, motherfuckers.

ACE OF BASE IS BACK, BABY!!!

Did you Turn Around? Did you see The Sign? Is it All That You Want?

What the fuck does it matter! It's Ace of fuckin' Base! PRAISE THE GODS OF SWEDISH POP FOR THEY HAVE HEARD MY NIGHTLY PRAYERS!!!! Ohmygod. Presale. Presale!!!! where the fuck can I make a presale for the love of fuck I'm going batshit insane here Ace of Base is coming the fuck back!!!!!! BRB gotta change my pants I just came, peed and shat at the same time. P.S.: I Know, they used to be 4 members, but the blonde chick retired after her record contract expired. Apparently she "hates" being famous and became a recluse. That bitch...

Posted in Celebs, GayTunes, OMG | 6 Comments »

I quit my job last Friday. One of the final steps in my plan to take over the world attend the Guildhall. It wasn't as catastrophic or awkward as I expected, then again with all the drama and the internal turmoil that department has gone through in the last couple of months I'd say it went real smooth. I was basically the only person in there who managed to remain neutral to all the fighting and the building-wide gossip that caused my former department to fall apart and turn to shit. The fallout happened months ago, but the repercussions are still felt today, since almost all of my coworkers are still mad at each other and many of them are not on speaking terms, creating a managerial nightmare for my former boss. Whatever happened there had nothing to do with me, so I had no business getting my hands ...Keep reading.

Posted in Reveries, Work | 3 Comments »

So this is MGM's latest animated movie, coming out later this year:

Goddamnit. I can already smell the lame jokes and retarded comparisons that shall go on for months or even years. (BTW if you really wanna know the difference, he has a hump in the back, mine's BETWEEN MY LEGS.) And yes, that's gonna be my default answer to any and all comments regarding the issue. Good day to all. PS: Just to get a head start, go fuck yourselves with something sharp, crooked and sandpapery. :)

Posted in OMG, Supercilious | No Comments »

Tags: movies,, igor,, lame

It's not customary of me to bite the hand that feeds me, but when ludicrous shit like this hits the masses I can't just let it slide. The second most read newspaper in the island recently launched a new promotional campaign, complete with the new slogan "habla como tú" (speaks like you), targeting the colloquial, highly informal way in which it's content is edited now. It's alright if they slip a few "boricua" words here and there, distancing it's style from big brother, but today they really went overboard by writing this on the front cover, of all places:

There are no words.

For those of you who don't know what "choteó al macaracachimba" means, good luck finding a proper translation.

Not only is it an obvious attempt at staying true to their ...Keep reading.

Posted in WTF, Work | 3 Comments »

I don't know about you, but I can't help but feel weirded out when a random female makes a pass at me or gives me that "I wanna tear your clothes off with my teeth look". Seriously. I freeze up and given the chance I'd stick my head in the dirt like an ostrich. It's just fucking weird and too much to handle for me. And I have no idea why. Earlier today I went to buy lunch and I was kinda "eye-raped" by a chola. What's a chola, you ask?

THIS is a chola.

For those who are too lazy to click the link, here's the copypasta: chola hardcore latina gangbangers. They usually have thin, arched, angry looking tattooed-on or penciled-on eyebrows, brown or dark red lip liner, 'Monroe', eyebrow and nose piercings, tats, Converse or ...Keep reading.

Posted in Gay, Reveries, Sex, WTF, Work | 7 Comments »