Seriously. It’s like we’re preparing for some inevitable “porn holocaust” and we feel the need to create our own “archive”.

Why do men feel the need to hoard dozens upon dozens of precious gigs of hard drive space in order to create their little empire of smut?

Before you call me a hypocrite, I must admit that I, too, am guilty of this sin. I can’t tell you how many gigs exactly I got stored since I’m at work, but last time I checked I had nearly 10GB of pics and movies. And DS has probably twice that amount. That perv.

I can see the need for it in case the internet is down and you can’t visit your favorite smut sites when “the urge” hits. But when your collection reaches, say, 120GB of fapping material, possibly requiring an extra hard drive specifically for that task, I’d say we got a problem.

The most remarkable thing is that even those of us who are partnered and get sexed up on a regular basis still feel the need to right click/save as every sexy piece of ass we find on the net. It’s like a reflex. HOLY SHIT IT’S JOSH DUHAMEL NAKED! Right click/Save as. 4GIRLSFINGERPAINT! Right click/Save as. It’s ridiculous. And we can’t help it.

And any man with internet access who says otherwise is either a liar or doesn’t have a penis.

I can’t comprehend how porn movie studios and pay-for-smut sites still manage to survive with the onslaught of free pic/free video sites. With the advent of youtube there’s like a bazillion knock-offs specialized in flash based porn clips, eliminating the need to pay a monthly fee to see your favorite piece of ass getting fucked, sucked, or shit on. It’s like the internet is the biggest, most accesible sex toy available to humanity -for a moderate monthly fee-.

I think it’s the fear of losing access to this unending cascade of cocks and cunts that makes us hoard our porn like a prized possession. Hey, the Internet can be a fickle, unreliable mistress after all. Plus it’s only a matter of time ’till the Net Wars erupt and fuck up all our internets and we’re left isolated and pornless (sue me, I’m reading too much sci-fi).

Now that I got this off my chest there’s something I’d like to know.

DO WOMEN KEEP A PORN STASH?

Seriously, girls, let’s make this a survey. Any women who read this go ahead and post in the comments if you keep your own “private library of personal pleasure”. or is it some of that “tastefully done” softcore crap? Inquiring minds need to know!
I refuse to believe that women, who are equally or even more libidinous as men, don’t keep at least 2 or 3 pics of a sexy naked stud (or broad) on their machines. Or do they get their rocks off with more tangible stuff, like their “amigo en el baño“? (God I’m starting to hate that fucking song).

The world needs an answer, ladies.

Yeah, yeah, I know some of you ladies will say that the pounding you get from your husbands/partners is enough, but most guys will agree that sex is like a succulent steak dinner, while jacking off to porn is the delicious appetizer. And who doesn’t love some mozarella sticks before scarfing down a juicy T-bone (or Tofu slab, for all you dirty tree-hugging veggie hippies out there).
Any woman who says that her husband doesn’t need to do that because they give ‘em enough pussy, I highly advise you to make an extensive search through their hard drive for .jpg’s and .mov’s or any other video files. You’ll be amazed.

DS and I are aware of our respective porn stashes, being guys and all. We know that there are times when we can’t tear each other apart, so the stash is fair game. Curiously, our porn collections don’t overlap. I might enter his stash and steal a movie or two (P0rn Ninja strikes again HAHAHAHaa!) and he might do the same, but we each have our own particular tastes. He may like lanky, hairless twinks doin’ it bareback. I like my burly college jocks “experimenting for the first time”. No big deal.

I honestly think that having a porn stash does not and should not interfere with your love life, and if it does, you clearly have your priorities fucked up. It’s only a “supplement”. Your sex life should not revolve around it unless you’re hopelessly single and living in your mom’s basement playing World of Warcraft all fucking day.

Besides, as much as we men love our porn, there’s no way in hell it can replace the touch (or tongue bath) of another human being.

Am I right? or am I right.

Posted in Reveries, Sex |

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