So my ex is soliciting a friend request on Facebook.

FOR THE FOURTH TIME.

The first time I said WTF of course, and promptly pressed the “ignore button”.

The second time I ignored him as well, but after noticing his request was ignored (Facebook won’t tell people their request was denied. Piece of shit) he wrote me a private message, saying that he “needs to talk to me, it’s important”. Being the curious little asshole that I am, I awaited for his third request.

This time I said yes, but through a hermetically crippled “limited profile”. All I wanted to know is why is he so insistent on talking to me, I did not want him knowing what’s going on in my life. We broke contact for a reason and I intend to keep it that way.

After a few days of waiting for his “important message”, I got antsy and wrote him. “So? what did you wanna talk to me about?”. No greeting, no anything. Be aware that I don’t “hate” this guy, I’m just reminded of the extreme dissappointment and the colossal waste of time that those few months with him meant.

To my further dissappointment, his reply was only a bland, half-hearted “second apology” because he somehow still felt guilty about the way he left things with me.

Oh for crying outloud, what a hyperbolic, pompous homo (aren’t we all? *hair throw*). All that drama just to say sorry? Puta please. You could have just said so through a private message, no need to “add me” to your list of collect-a-friends.

After his sappy attempt at “redeeming himself” I answered the following:

“It’s not necessary to keep apologizing. You already did and that’s water under the bridge. I’ve moved on and apparently so have you. And that’s what matters.
If your behavior towards me still torments you, then you should know that in the end you did not cause as much damage as you think, because if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have met the person that I’m currently sharing my life with, and things wouldn’t be as peachy as they are now. Thanks to him I’ve accomplished a lot of things that otherwise I would have never even thought of doing (like moving out of my house, for example).
So take it easy. And I repeat: there’s no hard feelings, let it go“.

I try not to be a catty bitch, but I’m sorry. It’s in my veins.

Basically I told him that I’m glad we broke up because I wouldn’t have been able to do shit with my life if I remained with him. And it’s true. Oops! so much for tact.

For those of you who haven’t read my blog entry on our relationship and don’t feel like reading it (it’s longer and much, much detailed), I’ll give you the “Cliff’s Notes” on what the fuck happened.

I met this guy in a bar (Bad omen # 1). He was handsome, elegant and didn’t give off that “loca de barra” vibe you get from most puertorrican homos. We noticed that we were both hanging out, single, with our respective fag hags at the time, so my hag invited him over to our table and we seemed to hit it off. Eventually he had a few drinks on him so on our way out two “red flags” were raised: We ended up having a 3-way kiss with the bartender (such WHORES!), and on our way out he playfully decides to “ride horsey” on my back (Bad omen # 2 & 3 Ultra ComboOoOoOo!).
Be aware that this wasn’t even a date. We just fucking met. I thought it was just him being “cute”, but it seems that being single for so long and having a good looking dude mounting my back blurred the line between cuteness and idiocy. So I just played along. We exchanged numbers and hit it off immediately.

Over time I found out that he came from a seemingly rich family that apparently had fallen from grace and had not much money left, so they had to move to a plain, cheap house in some ‘burb I don’t even remember. I never met any of his family members or even saw them from afar, family matters were always a goddamn mystery with him (Bad omen # 4). To this day I still don’t know it that sob story about his rich family hitting rough times was true or not, but the bullshit detector is high on that one.
I never met any of his friends other than his hag, oh and some other homo that he invited to our first date, apparently so he didn’t feel “intimidated” by me, or so he said. Later he told me that they sorta were dating a while before but cut it off quickly, because he had religious issues and a severely crooked dick. WHAT?

…Anyway over time I became really attached to this guy, and lasted about 9 months with him. But that last month, coincidentally, my birthday month, was a doozy. Suddenly he dissappeared for a week without a trace (bad omen # 5) and then reappears wanting to explain himself and apologize, only to stand me up and dissappear for another month (bad omen # ∞).

Thanks to one of my hags I learned that he’s still alive and willing to reconnect and finally explain his behavior, so he does. We meet up and he proceeds to feed me all this bullshit about being sexually insecure (His main interests in life are Madonna and Prada. I think it’s clear which side of the fence he’s on), and tells me that he “experimented” with a married, female coworker. At the time I still was heartbroken and confused, so I swallowed his shit like one of those nasty whores from 2Girls1Cup. If he told me that nowadays, I’d tell him to his face that if all that was true, his dick would have fizzled and burned off by vaginal acids. Yes, he is that gay.

I only saw him once after that, and over time I finally realized what a stupid fucking gullible idiot I had been. Gah! if I only had the outlook I have on life nowadays (a side effect of living with DS), the story would have ended in a more somber, possibly violent way.

But let’s come back to the present. After answering his lame apology with that little jab, I inexplicably kept him in my friend list for a few weeks, but then I got tired of seeing his face and being reminded of his superficiality, so I dropped him the fuck out of my contacts like Britney would drop her babies.
Fast forward to today and what do I find this morning on my Facebook summary?

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yes, that is him. His partner is blurred because he plays no part in this drama, obviously. Oh, if he only knew.

I have no fucking idea as to why he still insists on keeping me among his Facebook Poké-friends (gotta catch ‘em all, it seems). Is it some form of sick twisted penance he has administered on himself to make up for the three or four weeks I spent feeling like shit over his dissappearance? I mean there’s always self flagellation.

Honestly this guy was so complex and enigmatic that I’ll never know his motives, and I just can’t bring myself to give a fuck anymore. I wasn’t going to blog about it since I already covered our relationshit in that link at the beginning of the post, but what the hell. It’s a slow work day.

It also seems that he wants me to see how happy and perfect his life seems to be, filling his profile with uplifting messages, self help crap and pics of him and his significant other frolicking around the world and enjoying life.

That’s cute and all.

But you’re still a fucking douchebag.

I also see he’s well on his way to become a lawyer. Too bad. I guess that takes away any fantasy I held of smashing his fucking face in, since I’d probably get my balls sued off. But damn, it would have felt gooooood…

Eh, I take it back. I’m not a violent guy. But hey, we can dream, can’t we? I also dream that facebook actually got useful and added a very necessary button to it’s friend request window:

Posted in Gay, Love Life, OMG, Rants |

Tags: Facebook, stalker, ex, boyfriend, loser, douchebag

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