Who would have thought launching a website would bring such a crapload of things to do. It’s fucking insane.

Well, It’s been kind of bittersweet being the supreme ruler of your own domain, seeing as out of the 2 projects we launched, one of them took off dramatically and the other one seems to be stagnant due to the lack of interest from users and shitty promotion.

Wiisteria has been a blast. Lately every aspect of the site has been consuming me and DS’s time: The main page, the news blog and the forum. Especially the forum. I had NO idea how many Nintenfreaks were lurking around, looking for a place to vent. And vent they have. We even had our share of bible-thumping closet cases, who let their true colors shine when they felt threatened by me and Ds’s open lifestyle. It seemed so damn ironic how these hypocrites kept quoting the bible and saying they’re "good christians who go to church all the time", yet all their messages were full of hatred and ridicule, directed at us and several other forum members. Is "tolerance" the secret, 8th deadly sin in christianity? Because that’s what these losers lead me to believe. Thank the pagan gods I jumped out of that boat on time. It’s people like those who give decent christians a bad name. Just like flamboyant flaming homos give a bad name to gays everywhere by perpetuating a stereotype. And those I can stand even less than bible thumping hypocrites.

Fortunately the spammers are gone now, aparently fearful that they might catch "it" and start liking cock all of a sudden (judging by some of their comments, some of them already do). Now I know why religion and politics are banned in most forums. They bring out the fucking retard in people who can’t handle the subject. Now, our forum is much more quiet. There’s barely any spam from attention seeking forum whores, and even though there are fewer posts, these are actually worth reading, unlike the flood of shit we were having a few weeks ago from those retards.

The main page has gotten a lot of praise, in fact, we’ve had another big project offered to us because of it. So big, in fact, that I’ve neglected every other project I was working on, including some freebies for a couple of friends (sorry guys, you have NO idea the amount of stuff hanging on both our shoulders right now  ) I’ve barely even had time to play the growing stack of games in front of my TV. It’s exhausting just to think about all the shit we still have to do. And yes, the big project shall remain under wraps until it’s launched.

Today, a coworker commented that ever since I came back from my abusive 4 week vacation I always look sick and tired of everything. Well, that is the downside of a long vacation. You get so used to the freedom and the liberal amounts of sleep that adjusting back to work is like a job on it’s own. I do feel constantly tired, but I think it has the fact that I’m finally realizing that what I’m doing right now is becoming a huge dead end. I want to draw. I want to design. I want to use what’s left of my imagination to put all sorts of awesome things on paper, or better yet, on screen. A lot of ideas in the back of my head are just forgotten because I never have time to put them to fruition. Did you know that I was gonna write and illustrate a videogame based webcomic in spanish? And that I had already made two strips but had to put it on indefinite hold because of Wiisteria? Did you know that before that, I planned to make a flash-based cartoon based on Dominican Republic’s own superhero team and made it halfway through the intro? Did you know that the 1 minute intro to that cartoon lies collecting digital dust in my hard drive, probably never having the chance of seeing the light of day?

I bet you didn’t.

As you can see, if I wanna have time to do all the awesome crap I dream about, I either have to quit my job or bend time and space to create 48 hour days. Since none of those options is possible, I’m cursed with having to put all sorts of things on hold and probably never finishing them. Videogames being an obvious example.

I definitely can’t afford to leave my job now, even though I feel like I arrived at the end of my productive run in there. Everything else from now on is just repetition. A cycle that spans all year long. There’s the occasional design challenge, but nothing that I honestly feel passionate about. At least not anymore. Now dont’get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m planning on leaving anytime soon (you hear that, nosy-ass co-workers?! ), I mean the working conditions aren’t bad, even though I constantly feel like I’m being severely underpaid for my efforts. I love my coworkers to death and they’re probably the only thing keeping me from quitting anytime soon. And yes, I’m posting from work. You have a problem with that? Call human resources, bitch.

It’s no secret that DS and I have been making plans to move to the states when he’s done with his master’s, so we can try and find greener pastures in a more diverse working environment. Personally, I wanna get out of this island to pursue an education in Videogame design to complement my mad graphik dezign skillz, and probably become a slave at another company, with the only difference that I’ll be working in a medium that I’m passionate about (and with a competent salary, for chrissakes…)

But that might take a while. So it might be a good couple of years before I get to do any of that. In the meantime, I’ll just have to get used to putting things on hold and prioritizing the shit out of everithing, or I might just lose all perspective and end up doing nothing worthwhile while I’m here. I mean fuck, I’ll be 30 in 3 years, after that, it’s all downhill from there– Oh yeah: WHATEVER, you smug 30-something year olds reading this, say what you will about 30 being the new 20, I still have the quarter-life crisis crawling up my ass, and I still get all jittery thinking about it. Don’t go telling me you didn’t get it too. The typical "Fuck! I’m geting old!" realization. It’s real. And it’s eating the shit out of me. I feel like I haven’t accomplished a lot for my age. I know I’m wrong, everyone tells me I’ve managed to do well, but the ambitious bitch inside me is unsatisfied. I NEED MOAR!

Well shit, this seems to be the longest post I’ve done in ages. It’s a good thing workflow has been slow until now, or this would have been another "OMG SOME RETARDED CELEBRITY DID SOMETHING STOOPID LOLZ" quikpost. You can’t have too much of those, this isn’t fuckin’ Perez Hilton.

Or would you rather have me constantly write about jocks, cocks and sluts?

You tell me.

Posted in Dark Soul, Gay, Geek Stuff, Reveries, Work |

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