Continuing with the trend of ridiculous spam that makes it through my Gmail’s filter, I present you with a literary treasure (TRASHure?), courtesy of a word generating bot and a very, VERY idiotic ethanol company trying to pimp their "rapidly increasing" stock. I won’t even mention their name, the fuckers, even though they made me laugh out loud with their stupid little spambot.
Anyway, "Anita Heard" was the generated name for the sender, and as I read I couldn’t imagine a woman in such a disturbed state of mind that she would crank up shit like this just for kicks. Leave it to a machine to come up with this sort of unadulterated insanity. If a woman in real life is able to articulate stuff like this, I picture her in the padded white room of an insane asylum, writing blasphemous messages on the walls with her own feces while singing ‘Mary had a little lamb’.
Here’s the whole thing. Bonus points for anyone who can make a coherent statement out of a SINGLE sentence:
Most people believe that a greasy cargo bay avoids contact with an avocado pit, but they need to remember how almost a chain saw ruminates. An umbrella for a warranty is highly paid. For example, a ball bearing related to the dust bunny indicates that a cab driver non-chalantly gives a pink slip to a judge inside a photon. When you see an asteroid, it means that a hockey player laughs out loud. A line dancer sells the ball bearing behind the tornado to the tomato. When a green girl scout starts reminiscing about lost glory, the parking lot beyond another ball bearing starts reminiscing about lost glory. Most people believe that the scythe tries to seduce a statesmanlike senator, but they need to remember how non-chalantly another class action suit ceases to exist.
A cocker spaniel of a light bulb hibernates, and a bartender from a freight train leaves; however, a tornado graduates from a lover of the cocker spaniel. A light bulb toward another ocean. Now and then, a briar patch goes deep sea fishing with a nation from a rattlesnake. Any oil filter can compete with some scythe, but it takes a real pit viper to ridiculously bestow great honor upon a mastadon. When a nuclear customer is paternal, the flatulent avocado pit lazily recognizes a vaporized cowboy. Most people believe that some turkey single-handledly secretly admires a mortician, but they need to remember how single-handledly a self-actualized avocado pit returns home.
A revered graduated cylinder.
Truly deep, riveting choice of words, Anita. Not even the inspiration brought by a Xanax washed down with Bacardi 151 could truly drive a human being to generate such an enthralling piece of english prose. I didn’t know green girl scouts reminisced about their lost glory (yeah, they’re all a bunch of cookie pushing whores now, so i guess that makes sense), or that the laughter of a hockey player is the cause of asteroids. I’m moved, "Anita". If Shakespeare read this he would throw you an the floor and rape you. ’Cause "Billy Shakes" was freaky like that.
But seriously: What the fuck is the matter with all this spam?! It’s reached new levels of aggresiveness in the last few months, it’s disgusting.
Currently my hotmail account (which I’ve neglected because of this problem) receives a daily barrage of 15 spam mails that somehow bypass Hotmail’s "improved and advanced" spam filter. No wonder Hotmail has fallen from grace as the primary free email provider. Microsoft always finds a way to fuck things up.
I understand that, being a free service, you can expect to see an ad or two, but a dozen per day is a bit too much. If this kind of pernicious advertisement were made illegal I’m sure there’d be less war and famine in this world. Because seeing 15 different "m4ke y0ur c0ck gr0w" or "ill3gal lolita pu$$y p4rty" messages cluttering my inbox and using the meager space I have left in hotmail just makes me want to destroy whole cities.
That’s why I had to resort to Gmail as my primary, and Yahoo as a secondary. Huge storage space. Awesome spam catcher. No bullshit.
Where’s the love? (sniff!)
*sighs* Geemail is bliss. Except for the “filters” instead of folders. have you see yahoo lately? Looks like mozilla and gmail combined.
by motrown November 15th, 2006 at 12:22 amIt’s been months since I login to my yahoo account. I only got one because some forum didn’t accept hotmail emails to validate registration (i wonder why)…
by Kaiser Dämmerung November 15th, 2006 at 3:20 pmWould that be cause….. HOTMAIL IS THE DEVIL INCARNATE DEVOURER OF SOULS AND IDENTITY!?
by motrown November 17th, 2006 at 12:44 amfunny…i ran it through bablefish a couple of times and then back to english…its strangely sexual now…and curiously, it makes a bit more sense:
by neongen December 9th, 2006 at 3:45 amThe majority of people believes that a fat bay of the cargo avoids the contact with a hole of the lawyer, but has need to remember like nearly one chain mountain rumia. An umbrella for a guarantee is much paying. As an example, a tumbling of bolitas in relation with that it is conejito of the powder marks it that leading of the taxi chalantly does not give one attractive slide to a judge in a photon. When you will see asteroïde, it means that a player of hockey you joke towards outside bruyamment. A line dancer sells the tumbling of bolitas behind that one returned to the tomato. When a green explorer of the girl begins to remember the past on the lost Gloria, the part of the parking beyond of an other tumbling of bolitas begins to remember the past on the lost Gloria. The majority of people believes that false the tests sedurre to a senator of statesmanlike, but have need to remember as chalantly an other game of the action of class does not stop to exist. A spaniel of cocker of the hibernates of a lamp, and a serveur of a train of the cargo is gone; however, returned gradúa of a amant of the spaniel of cocker. One lamp towards other ocean. Hour and then, a shelter briar he goes fishes of deep sea with one nation of a snake of cascabel. Whichever oil filter can make competition with a little is made, but it takes one víbora true of the hole in order to come to an agreement a great honor ridicule on a mastadon. When a customer nuclear is paternal, the hole flatulent of the lazy lawyer recognizes to vacher vaporizzato. The majority of people believes that a sure turkey solo-handledly secretly admires business leader of pompasti funeral, but has need to remember as a same one is solo-handledly a hole - it dawns to you of the lawyer returns to house. A graduated cylinder venerato.
LOL!!
The magic of Babelfish.
It’s like deciphering the fucking DaVinci Code.
by Kaiser Dämmerung December 9th, 2006 at 2:20 pm