A few days ago, while I was rummaging through Faggotland– I’m sorry… Plaza Las Americas, I noticed a curious looking little cart in the middle of the hallway near Babbages. I see a lot of Yugi-oh and Pokemon crap so I figure it’s just another anime fanboy service booth (poor things, they’re very neglected in Puerto Rico). As I walked by it I noticed something that made me scream like a little bitch, making everyone’s head turn and the cart attendant to jump and stumble out of his stool. Fuck!!!! I just HAVE to take this motherfucker home!! I don’t care if it’s $30 bucks, he’s MINE!
So I did. Behold.
Sephiiiiiii!!!!!
It’s Sephiroth, modeled after the Advent Children movie. I have been seriously lusting for this figure since I saw it on ebay. Hence the orgasmic scream when I found it in a plaza hallway, of all places. I unsheathed my ATM card like it was fucking Excalibur and shoved it in the clerk’s face and only remember saying: "SEPH! MINE! I WANT! I PAY YOU!". After a few awkward seconds and after being eyed suspiciously by mall security guards (I don’t know if it was the screaming, the jumping or the scraping the ATM in the clerk’s face), I had little Seph in a bag and I clutched him like he was my newborn on his way out of the hospital for the first time ever.
- Hey Seph just what the fuck are you doing with that black materia? Are you summoning Meteor again?!
- Me?! Uuuuuh… Eeeerrr… No! I’m just… Eeeeh, trying to see the future in it! yeah! that’s it.
The action figure is beyond gorgeous, it has a lot of detail and like 80 points of articulation, so you can bend it in whatever ridiculous pose you want. Of course, it includes the trademark cut-a-Hummer-in-half Katana, and a set of interchangeable hands, in case you need a closed fist for… well, closed fist stuff.
It also has a nifty stand, which you can use to make better poses, like a reenactment of that infamous scene in Final Fantasy 7:
Seph: Yo Aeris! Look up!
Aeris: Huh?
Seph: BANZAAAAAAAAI!!!
Aeris: OMG WTF!!! AAAAAACK!!!!!!
*SNIKT*
Aaaahh. Good times. Flower selling girls dressed in pink are all a bunch of whores anyway.
What? did I stir your memory by showing you a link to the infamous Aeris death scene? Did it make your eyes water? Awwwww. Well here’s a link to a less.. Umm… "graphic" depiction of one of the most controversial deaths in videogame history. ENJOY.
Ah, I see Seph and my other figures are getting acquainted:
-Holy shit Yoshi, you sure have grown!
-Yeah, well, blame it on the fucking mushrooms.
UPDATE: Today I passed near the same booth and I almost went into schoolgirl mode again, because I saw the counterpart to this figure, staring at me in all it’s multi-jointed magnificence:
Blonde girly-man Cloud Strife and his kickass-motherfucking-awesome bike, Fenrir.
Since it includes a vehicle, this set costs a whopping $70, so I withheld my impulses with the thought that I still have to pay for those Shakira tickets. They cost me half a testicle, but they’re damn well worth it. Let’s just say I’ll be showered in her sweat everytime she twirls around like a horny little cobra.
*cough*christmasgift!!*cough*
OMFG WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!?! YOU ARE NO SUPPOSE TO TAKE THEM OUT OF THE BOX!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO BE A NERD!!!!!!!
by DarK SouL October 20th, 2006 at 7:00 amYou NOOB. The box is RESEALABLE and was designed like that ESPECIALLY for that purpose (to give a chance to neurotic nerds to take their toy out of the wrapping without having to destroy it and reducing resale value).
Why do you think I got it out of the box?!
Gawd. Go play with your Xbox.
…ZOMG!!!! CONTACT COMES OUT TODAY FOR MY DS!!!!! TOTAL GEEKOUT!!!
by Kaiser Dämmerung October 20th, 2006 at 8:54 amCongratulations. You have been formallly initiated in the anime/action figure/comic book/science fiction movies geeky nerd fanboy cult, not to be confused with the videogame geeky nerd fanboy cult. See ya at the next convention!!! Dont forget to go with dressed as Seph!! There’ll be a cosplay contest…….
by Yizz October 20th, 2006 at 9:55 amOn the last convention I went at the YMCA there was a guy dressed as Sephiroth. He looked SO GAY i thought he was dressed as Gothic Supergirl. Actually Darkie took pictures, they’re in his photo album if you wanna have a good laugh. Puerto Rican cosplayers have a looooong way to go.
by Kaiser October 20th, 2006 at 12:08 pmLa figura esta brutal, tenias que comprarla. BTW las taquillas de Shakira si estan super caras, pero si estas interesado, voy a hablar con el amigo mio que trabaja con Angelo Medina para ver si me consigue algo, el siempre tiene buenos asientos reservados.
by Darkangel October 20th, 2006 at 12:32 pmI wonder why Final Fantasy has become an RPg for anime geeks. Don’t get me wrong cuz i’m also an anime fan. And by the way have you seen Final Fantasy:Advent Children? Even better than the first Final Fantasy movie.
by Haunted October 20th, 2006 at 11:31 pmI bought the Advent Children DVD on launch day. You’re clearly underestimating my nerdiness. lol.
And It’s odd that anime geeks in North America chose FInal Fantasy over Dragon Quest, since DQ is designed by the guy that does Dragonball…
by Kaiser October 22nd, 2006 at 9:48 amOMG roxxors
I’ll buy it before joo!
by SrBaluarte November 13th, 2006 at 4:38 pmNuh-uh!! teh Cloud figure iz mein!!!!! all mein!!!!111!!
by Kaiser Dämmerung November 13th, 2006 at 5:28 pm