Alright, I’m gonna take a page from Evaristo’s book and give this "photo-blog" thing" a try. Oh don;t worry, There will be no pictures of skanky whores or women sticking impossibly large objects in their vagina. That’s Evaristo’s territory.
So my mother goes to a painting class, and tonight was their "graduation" or something like that. Obviously I woudln’t miss her big night, so I agreed to join her and… errr.. "appreciate" the creativity of Puerto Rico’s future artists and illustrators.
The place was PACKED and hot as hell, only the exhibition floor had air conditioning, which, unfortunately caused my mother’s hair to puff up and make her look like a goomba. But what the hell. She was so happy and even happier that I was there, so I’ll let this coiffure faux pas slide. Besides, this is the happiest I had ever seen her in a while, so I would have forgiven her even if she was sporting a mullet.
Now, on to the exhibition. After roaming around I came to the conclusion that this display had a theme, well, that, or the teachers had very little creativity to impart to their students. Just look at this:
Oh nice, Flowers.
Great, more flowers.
Ummm, yeah, I get it. Flowers are pretty.
Tired of flowers yet? I bet you are. so here’s some psychedelic flowers! yay!
Yeesh. But that’s just the beginning. Ranking a close second to the flowers was, you guessed it, the so-clichéd-it-should-be-illegal palms on the beach! Oh joys and jubilations!
Wishing you were here?
*Yawn*
I’ll refrain from posting the other 43 beach paintings or imageshack will ban me for life (they almost do for posting those celeb penis photos)
Now those who thought flowers were tacky and overrated probably came to the conclusion that fruit would be the ideal alternative.
Oh god, here it goes.
Yeah, that’s enough thank you.
As if you could not get enough puertorrican clichés into the mix, there is one puertorrican landmark that is as overused, overdone and pathetically overrated as it is popular. Of course I’m talking about the disgustingly emblematic (and urine soaked)…
GARITAS!
Lots…
And lots…
And lots of fucking garitas! Gawd, have these people actually been in one? Can they actually stand the smell of urine, trash, feces or decomposing beggars?… Wait. I guess when you look at them that way, they do represent most of this island somehow.
Now for those who thought plants, garitas and beach images were tacky, here’s some all american class thrown in for good measure.
That’s a nice display of patriotism, considering the old land o’ stars and stripes barely even acknowledge our existence. Go figure.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know that most of the people who painted these are beginners and it was a commendable effort for them to capture the detail and complexities of, say, a bowl of fruit or a sunny beach, but goddamnit, a little diversity wouldn’t hurt.
Well, that’s all for today, but don’t go too far, there’s a lot more pics where that came from. Next time You’ll see which paintings were not a total waste of canvas, the thing I hated most (the people, of course) and whe WTF’s of the evening.
Stay logged. (yeah ’cause "tuned" kinda doesn’t belong on this medium)
¿A que alguien pinto un payaso o un arlequín llorando?
by C September 29th, 2006 at 2:47 amLas septiembre 11 siempre son mis favoritas. Una vez vi una de las torres humeado y un Jesucristo gigante viendolas con lagrimas en los ojos.
Que bello… verdad?
by gatoqueen September 29th, 2006 at 9:32 amBellísimo
me sorprendió la ausencia del payaso lloroso o el corazón sangrante de jesucristo envuelto en espinas. De hecho no ví ninguna pintura religiosa, a pesar de que el sitio estaba cundío de viejas pentecostales modelando lo último en faldas de mahón sancochantes y camisas de poliéster con carteras Luis Butón (así se escribe porque son las “réplicas”).
by Kaiser September 29th, 2006 at 11:05 amOtro que brilló por su ausencia fueron los perros jugando póker y la última cena.