:( 
Between this:
And THIS
OOPS… I ATE IT AGAIN!
Wanna know how Britney became this paragon of beauty and class? here is:
BRITNEY’S TRAINWRECK RECIPE
or
30 WAYS TO DESTROY YOURSELF AND YOUR CAREER IN 2 YEARS OR LESS
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Make gradually shittier records.
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Get cancelled concert dates because of low ticket sales caused by shitty records.
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Plunge yourself into an identity crisis. Extra points for emulating Mariah Carey’s hotel smashing habits.
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Drink until shit-faced on a nightly basis. Smoke unfiltered Marlboro’s.
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Fall madly in love with the first oportunistic unemployed lowlife that hits on you in a drunken club night. Make him a backup dancer so he accompanies you on every tour to keep your demanding vagina satisfied.
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Copy Jennifer Lopez by marrying your lowlife backup dancer. It doesn’t matter if he still has a pregnant girlfriend. If he has a dick and can fuck you silly, he’s game.
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Eat.
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Pretend your marriage is perfect. Ignore the smell of hooker your husband brings every morning.
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Ignore your husband’s nightly pilgrimage into strip clubs.
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Get into the whole Reality TV thing with disastrous results. Hate Jessica Simpson for getting away with it.
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Eat.
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Best way to catch your husband’s attention? get pregnant!
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Let your husband smoke beside you during pregnancy.
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Dress like a Vegas whore even during pregnancy.
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Eat.
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Give birth and expect the same tabloids you hate to fight over the pictures.
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Make sure the paparazzi see you whenever you put your child’s life at risk. (Like driving with child in your lap instead of carseat, dropping him on the floor several times)
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Blame your nanny for every "accident" your kid has. Fire her to make it even more genuine.
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Cry every night when the lowlife you married neglects his husband/father duties
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Cry every day when the lowlife you married splurges all your money.
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Eat more.
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Need a shoulder to cry on? Call People Magazine.
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Befriend Madonna. Call her at all times and force her to be your BFF (Best Friend Forever).
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Study Kaballah just because Madonna does it.
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Abandon Kaballah when Madonna refuses to be your child’s godmother when she realizes how much of a fucked up mess you and your husband really are. Reflect on how being considered a fucked up mess by Madonna, of all people, is a fucked up mess on it’s own.
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Walk barefoot. Even in malls. Let everyone marvel at your inner redneck.
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If your husband still doesn’t pay you attention, force him to impregnate you again. Nothing holds a man by your side like a house full of screaming neglected babies.
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Eat like a trucker. Also, since you’re pregnant, dress like one. Careful not to eat your own child or you’ll never hear the end of it from the media.
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Keep copying other celebrities. Copying Jennifer Lopez, Madonna and Jessica Simpson wasn’t enough, so go ahead and copy Brad and Angelina by announcing that you’ll give birth in Namibia. Reflect on what african names you can give to your newborn. Extra points if the name consists of tongue clicks and hisses.
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Eat.
Britney says:
Hello all my adoring fans! (both of you!) Wanna see the results? check out my fabulous Britney Evolution Page where you can see the amazing evolution from Pop Star to Poop Star!
Oh and stay tuned! My album is coming out as soon as I shit this new baby. OMG did I say shit? Can I say shit in here? lol!!11
Love:
Britney 
Technorati Tags Britney Spears Fat Pig
Blogalaxia Tags:Britney Spears Fat Pig
asi me gusta mas que antes LOL
by evaristo June 19th, 2006 at 3:04 pmA ti con las chonchis hay que cogerte miedo! lol!!
by Kaiser June 19th, 2006 at 4:07 pmAunque ésta morona tan pronto se cosa la chocha y decida hacer el “comeback” se mete en una de esas dietas suicidas de Hollywood y rebaja 50 lbs. en 5 dias ya tu verás.
¡Carajo!…entre al link ese que dejastes y vi las fotos…que culo es la tipa sin maquillaje. Yo se que muchas son bien diferentes con y sin maquillaje pero esta se paso…wow! Esta tiene una persona de efectos especiales haciendole el favor…asco…YUCK!
by Zen June 19th, 2006 at 4:23 pmOh my fucking God! Eww!
by Iguana Lola June 19th, 2006 at 6:57 pmTHE LIST KEEPS GROWING!!!!
Here’s 5 extra steps for added glamour:
31. Pretend you’re a virgin until Justin Timberlake confirms otherwise by calling you an unfaithful slut.
32. Get married for 48 hours WITHOUT A PRENUP. Have your mom and your lawyers go ape shit and force you to annull the marriage. Extra points for doing it in a dirty drive-through marriage chapel in Vegas.
33. French kiss Madonna. Say it was an innocent “sister” kiss, even though everybody saw some tongue action.
34. Secretly hate Christina Aguilera for stealing your grammy.
35. When it comes to fashion, Trailer Trash is the new black.
by Kaiser June 20th, 2006 at 10:40 amCan I play, pleaseeee!!!!
36. Always remember your humble trailer park trash roots.
37. Secretly admire Anna Nicole Smith as your role model.
38. Remember that you can always blame it on “I didnt have a childhood”
by Yizz June 20th, 2006 at 10:46 amyo pensaba q mi panza estaba crecida… oh well, not so much!
by Anais June 20th, 2006 at 4:58 pmal lao de ella ahora mismo tu eres Twiggy.
by Kaiser June 20th, 2006 at 6:22 pmArrgh!!! ASCO! Y me refiero a todo, no sólo a las fotos, sino a lo relacionado a su vida personal.
by Annette June 20th, 2006 at 11:10 pmWhite trash nation, baby….
Lo que no me cuadra es que carajo ella hace en esa casa tan ordinaria. Hmmmmm…….
by Yizz June 21st, 2006 at 9:37 amRecuerda: Ella es de los campos rednecos de Louisiana. Lo tacky le corre por las venas. No me sorprendería si esa es la sala de su casa. COn razón su marido nunca quiere estar ahí.
Y PARA SEGUIR CON LA BELLA LISTA Y EMPUJARLA A 40!!!!!
39. Use a mass media outlet to tell the world you’re not a virgin anymore.
40. Your main diet must consist strictly of Cheetos and Red Bull.
by Kaiser June 21st, 2006 at 11:19 amDebo confirmar que, en efecto, esa sí es la sala de su casa. Hace unos días pude ver el vídeo de su entrevista más reciente en NBC y fue realizada desde esa misma silla en esa misma sala, en su ” Malibu mansion”. Si quieres ver el video, aquí está el link. El peor caso de verguenza ajena, de verdad que me da pena esta chica.
http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/06/19/britney_spears_really_needs_th.html
by Annette June 28th, 2006 at 8:39 pmKaiser;
by Johnny Boy June 28th, 2006 at 9:37 pmTe felicito por esta entrada. Me reí como loco. Vi la entrevista y de verdad que la nena esta bien mal de la cabeza. Esta va a terminar igualita que la Whitney Houston.
Un abrazo,
Johnny Boy
Dude, you totally nicked this from my blog. >_> But you made a far more funnier entry around it, considering I nearly died laughing. Big ups.
by Di June 30th, 2006 at 5:36 pmWTF??? put the link on! I wanna read your version!
BTW I’ve never been in your blog. I dunno, check your IP’s or something. What can I say. Sick– I mean great minds think alike? hehehe…
Besides, with the assload of blogs and myspaces and whatnot it’s expected that clone topics will pop up every once in a while. I’ve seen clones of my stuff on a couple of ‘em.
by Kaiser Dämmerung June 30th, 2006 at 5:48 pmWTF! cual de las dos es ella… la primera foto? XD
by The Blog Machine July 5th, 2006 at 1:06 pmen la foto q tiene crema en la cara parece q se le vinieron en los cachetes
by kunzite July 5th, 2006 at 2:55 pmNo me sorprendería. Y más después de ver el ingrediente secreto del face mask que se inventan en nip-tuck.
by Kaiser July 5th, 2006 at 3:17 pm