Archive for February, 2006

Feb
28th
2006

Out of commission

By Kaiser Dämmerung

Hulk Smash!!!

Woe is me.

My computer went into a coma last night. I was lying on my bed minding my own business when suddenly the screen goes grey with a few flickering purple bars on the left side. WTF is this? I thought the screen had gone whacko, like it has a couple of times when the monitor just shows these multicolored bars flickering around, but that only happens on the few occasions that the computer boots up from a hybernating state. When I turn it on or when it's roused back from sleep mode, The monitor works fine. But this was different. Usually when my screen goes whacko I close up the lid and open it back again, and problem fixed. This time the weird grey screen remained there even when I opened and closed it. ...Keep reading.

Feb
25th
2006

Well what a coincidence…

By Kaiser Dämmerung

A short while ago I loaded up my browser and on Google's main page I found this interesting link for a very "particular" Wiki-How. For those of you who are not familiar with WikiHow, it's a user-based project designed to be the world's biggest instruction manual for EVERYTHING, including, of course, living your own life. Regarding this last topic, one of their links today called my attention, since it was titled "How to Make Your Parents Love You for Who You Are". Hmmmmm, that sounds familiar. So I open it up and give it a read.

Ha! It was just as I imagined. They never mention it explicitly, but this how-to post should have been called "Coming Out of The Closet For Dummies". Even though the word gay or homosexual or lesbian or zoophylic goth satan worshipper isn't mentioned ANYWHERE, you'll see what I mean. Here's a ...Keep reading.

Feb
16th
2006

Revelations

By Kaiser Dämmerung

So I went out with my dad.

Turns out we had to do some stupid errand which he either was too lazy to do or couldn't do by himself. Mother was away, probably taking one of her numerous courses in, oh I don't know, painting, jewelry design, gardening, guitar playing, whatever strikes her fancy that week. That woman has a thirst for knowledge that befuddles me. It's like she wants to become the Dominican Martha Stewart. I can see her now, with her pastel apron and her deadpan monotone voice:

"Hi, my fellow viewers. Today we are going to try a delicious new treat. It's my trademark MANGÚ DE PLÁTANO MADURO CON RUEDITAS DE SALAMI "SANTA CRÚ" Y REVORTILLO DE HUEVO FRITO CON ARRÓ HABICHUELA Y CARNE", which we will top with a nice bottle of the finest Chianti straight from California's richest vineyards."

But enough ...Keep reading.

Feb
9th
2006

Revenge

By Kaiser Dämmerung

Well it turns out my lovely ol' boyfriend unearthed a pic of me from back in the day, when I still smoked, on one of those nights of drunken idiocy where I agreed to pose as if I was a street hustler.

Well, like the Bride in Kill Bill says: Revenge is a dish best served cold. Here's a pic of my darling, indiscreet little boyfriend gettin' busy on the dancefloor shakin' what his momma gave him with our friend Loudovika while CheeChee, amidst her drunken stupor, watches in the background, flabbergasted by their "forbidden dance". Later on she projectile-vomited over the two of them.

Ok I made that last part up. But for the record, CheeChee was drunk. emoticon

Anyway, BEHOLD!

Perreo!

Te traje lo que te pone
Como te gusta
El ...Keep reading.

Feb
4th
2006

Celebrity Penis Review

By Kaiser Dämmerung

Yep, you read right. PENIS review.

It's a review. About penises.

But not just any penis. Celebrity penis.

Oh come on! don't tell me you have never wondered what your favorite celebrity is packing behind those pants! Either out of curiosity or just sheer morbid interest, I know some of you guys have thought of measuring up with whatever famous singer or movie star, after being annoyed by all the ladies (and some gentlemen) who would drop their pants for them in a heartbeat. Or you ladies (and again, an awful lot of gentlemen) who lust after a certain unreachable superstar but will not rest until your filthy, depraved sexual fantasy with your favorite famous stud is complete with a visual of his actual package, not the perfect, immaculately trimmed and pristine tool of the gods you imagine they must have.

For some of us it's a turn-on, ...Keep reading.

Older Stuff

The Potato Peel Crisis

So DS wanted to make potato salad. Eh, why not. He makes a damn good potato salad. Great, today's lunch menu is decided. Soon enough I see him in the kitchen doing something that looked... questionable. No, he wasn't doing lewd things to the potatoes or drizzling them with any sort of "special dressing", he was just pushing tons and tons of potato peels through the trash disposal. But really pushing them like an unwanted ...

What the fuck is wrong with Puerto Rico’s Blogging community?!

It's been quite a long while since I went over to Puertoblogs to see what's new. I haven't had time to sit down and read through all the self centered drivel that clogs the internet today, and now that I finally got to do it, I wish i had not. Holy Fucking Shit. Yes, it is self centered because that's exactly what ...

It’s Happy Fun Exploration Time!

OK, so even though we seem to have moved into apartment paradise, there comes a time when you get cabin fever and for fear of smacking the shit out of your significant other when he makes you jump out of your seat by screaming like a rape victim for the 17th time because he's playing Gears of War and a sniper just blew his fucking head off, you know that it's time to ...