:( 
Oh no, don’t even think about calling me up and asking for a ride in my hot-ass car. I’m not talking about vehicles.
Today’s topic, boys and girls, is circumcision.
*crickets chirping*
What does a convertible have to do with slicing the foreskin off of someone’s fun stick, you ask?
Well, many uncut gentlemen can fake having a circumcised penis just by pulling back their "top", or it just draws back automatically when you get a particularly fierce boner. It’s like having the best of both worlds. On one side you have a "protective hood", and on the other side you have the clean-cut look of a hoodless dick.
What was it that made me suddenly just go off on this "cock rant"?
1) I like dicks.
2) The fact that on this island, cut dicks are pretty rare. Seriously, out of all the people I’ve been with, only 2 or 3 had their "dick hoodies" severed. The rest have been an endless parade of flapping foreskin. (ok, they haven’t been that many either, so don’t go around thinking that I’m on a perpetual penis research.)
Personally I find cut ones more appealing, hell, they even look cute. Although I have nothing against uncut dongs, as I am the proud owner of a ‘convertible’ too. But when you find yourself in front of a huge flap of skin that dangles like 1 or 2 inches over the penis’ head, that I cannot deal with. I’d be like: "buddy, get a scalpel".
Although I’m a big fan of "cuts", all my life I’ve heard Satan (a.k.a. dad) say that circumcision is a form of mutilation. To some extent, I think it is. And not just because Satan said so (remember that he tends to think that he knows all and is omnipotent) but because I’ve read and heard from people that there’s a lot of nerves in the foreskin that conect to the glans (the cock’s head, for all you uneducated heathens), so "cuts" actually have less intense orgasms than "uncuts".
About that nerve thing, I can firmly say that indeed, there are some spots on the foreskin that can drive a guy crazy (Google the word "frenulum"), leading me to believe that the statement is true. However, cut guys always say that it’s bullshit, that they have thunderous orgasms (hey, what guy doesn’t exaggerate their sexual performance) and that they enjoy sex even more than uncuts, because they don’t have an annoying foreskin flapping around and getting in the way.
I’d believe them, if it wasn’t for the fact that the people that said those comments have been circumcised since birth, so they don’t know what it’s like to have a foreskin. The only person that can actually answer this dilemma is someone who got a circumcision late in life, having had a chance to have sex with and without foreskin. Sadly, I’ve yet to find such a person.
What bothers me is that circumcision, although it makes a cock look ‘pretty’, is still an unnatural thing to do to your body. I especially love the rant by THIS GUY, who is jewish, and as you know, jews routinely circumcise their children whithout asking why or for what, just days after their birth.
Some cut guys grow so discouraged after they find out they’re circumcised and had no say in that decision, that they go through this bizarre process called "foreskin regrouth" to try and manually (or surgically) restore what was taken forcefully from them. I found this organization that deals with that issue, aptly titled "NORM" the "National Organization for Restoring Men".
Ain’t that a hoot and a holler. The methods can go to uncomfortable (duct-taping your wiener) to downright barbaric (dangling heavy weights on your shlong). But hey, if it gets the job done, more power to them.
These bitches at work were like "ewwww i can’t stand no man with that flap of skin on their dicks". Another bitch said "I’ve never even seen one". About 75% of the male population on this island is uncircumcised, so that ho’ was either lying her ass off or she has only been with one or two guys, tops. It’s impossible to miss an uncut guy over here. Hell, at my gym, so far I’ve only seen one cut guy, and it was a rather old guy in his 40’s, which is even more rare. (Again, don’t think I’m doing some perverted cock survey, it’s a locker room for god’s sakes, people GET NAKED around you and there’s nothing you can do about it). Usually cuts tend to be younger, since I guess circumcision has gotten more acceptable barely during the last couple of decades.
Survey aside, I understand that these bitches may prefer cut over uncut, but to be disgusted by a natural, untouched penis? Gimme a break. It’s like a straight guy being disgusted at the sight of a clitoris. It’s a fucking part of the male physique, deal with it!
Fuckin’ prissy hoes.
And don’t talk to me about that higiene bullshit either. It’s common sense to wash your bits and pieces thoroughly when you bathe, and that includes under the hood of your unit. If you are uncut and you don’t do this, you’re a fuckin’ pig, and you probably have a huge cheese factory*** under there that could put Kraft Inc. to shame.
***Not safe for work
Personally, I find my foreskin quite helpful. My ‘head’ is extremely sensitive, to the point that I once wondered whether it was a clinical condition. Well, It’s not. Apparently cut guys can have an overly sensitive cock head as well, and could spend their lives wearing tight underwear to prevent discomfort, without having a nifty hood to protect them from chafing. I guess that is why some cut guys decide to go through this. [Not Safe for work]
I shudder to think what it would be like if I had a circumcision done. Bikes would be out of the question, I’m sure, and sex would be a torturous, painful nuisance. I’m definitely pro-foreskin, and in the event that I ever spawn a child (eeeek!!) I would never allow the doctor to chop off part of his wee wee. I’d let him decide if he wants a cut wee wee after he’s old enough.
I know, it’s an obvious case of double standards. I think circumcised trouser snakes are ‘pretty and cute’, yet I wouldn’t put my children or anyone I care about under the burden of circumcision. I seriously think cocks shouldn’t be tampered with, and it you must, like in some cases, where emergency circumcisions have to be done to salvage an endangered pecker from whatever illness, then good luck.
I, on the other hand, will happily carry on with my uncut willie, and If I ever have the need to feel what it’s like to be cut, I can always slide the top back.
Convertibles rule.
Wanna know more? click these links to see if your favorite celebrity has a cut or uncut porking stick!
Okay, truth be told: I never saw an uncut penis until I turned 21 (and I lost my virginity at 17, that’s 4 years of not knowing the difference). I agree: the appearance of a circumcised dick is more virile, and “cuter” than the uncut version. BUT it appears to me that uncut men DO have more intense orgasms (plus there’s nothing more fun than having MORE parts of the dick to play with, plus it makes handjobs a breeze to work). Plus: a penis sans-foreskin may be cute, but a nice, swollen, throbbing penis with the foresking slightly pulled back is GLORIOUS!
by Anais January 23rd, 2006 at 11:53 amExactly what I wanted to read. The opinion of a fellow cock connosieur like yourself. Great answer! lol
The handjob thing is an often ignored perk of uncuts, since some circumcisions are so severe that pulling the dickskin back too roughly can result in a ‘torn frenulum’ (gogle that phrase and find out why many men wince at the thought of it). The foreskin actually helps handjobs and makes the job much easier, since it stimulates the tip when it strokes it repeatedly.
OMFG I sound like a fucking urologist. Ok enough dick talk from me. Let’s hear what other people have to say.
Come on people, don’t be shy. Cut or uncut? You either have one or have seen one.
by Kaiser Dämmerung January 23rd, 2006 at 1:35 pmI’m not circumcised and I love it -as do all of the women in my life love it. Women have told me that there is a wholistic beauty to a man who is intact…as opposed to men who have been modified.
by Anonymous January 23rd, 2006 at 7:56 pmWe need to learn to accept what nature has provided and enjoy.
Keep up the good work — there’s a lot of ignorance and stupidity in the world about the male foreskin.
I am just going to ignore the fact that you go to the gym to look at old people’s wee wee and say that I love my foreskin. It helps me get an orgasm when I decide to go the “manual” way and I don’t know how I would be able to get one without the foreskin. My first sexual partner was “cut” and I never were able to make him cum while masturbating him, sometimes I could spend like half an hour massaging his dick in vain, but I just was not able to understand his pleasure points. (Of course, I was a teenager at that moment and all I cared about was to satisfy me first and get the fuck out of there)
Anyway, I am with Anais on this one, cut penis look prettier but uncut ones are more enjoyable.
by DarK SouL January 24th, 2006 at 8:43 am^^^^^ And I am going to ignore the fact that you think that everyone doesn’t take off their clothes in a locker room. Unless you’re in Iraq and you’re a burqa-wearing lady that will be stoned to death if she shows half her ankle. Gimme a break…
by Kaiser Dämmerung January 24th, 2006 at 12:36 pmI have never ever seen an uncut one -well, not counting medical pics on the Net. So, I believe those whores at work were not pulling your leg.
Anyways, I think -no offense, bitches- that having an uncut one in front of me will greatly disgust me as I will only hear my mother’s highpitched voice advising my brother (while he was taking a shower):
“JOSEEEEE, RECUERDA ECHARTE LA TELITAAAA PA”TRAS Y LAVARTE BIEN EL PIPIIIII.” :-/
(No, my mom was not being sexual in any forms of means with my youngest sibling. It seems that he was a piglet when it came to genitalia hygiene and thus caught some kind of skin infection once…something like that…ew…ew…ew).
-Code
by Anonymous January 25th, 2006 at 7:57 amOMFG SHE’S ALIVE!!!!! ALIVE I TELL YOU!!!!!
Great to see you around these parts!! I heard that like, people miss you, and stuff. And, like…
*sniff*
OK back to topic! well, Code, you have been VERY lucky, lemme tell ya, because this is indeed FORESKIN ISLAND. But I understand your anti-foreskin stance, since your mother has truly fucked up your views on male genitalia, just like my father scarred my views on female genitalia with booklets full of sick, rotting vaginas ridden with assorted venereal diseases so i can learn to “identify them” in the future. Nice going, dad.
by Kaiser Dämmerung January 25th, 2006 at 1:21 pmHAHAHAHAH! Yeast infection! Yummmmm! q mal! ditooooo …
by Anais January 25th, 2006 at 3:49 pmOh yes, it wasnt just yeast infections! those were just the appetizer. There was also:
-Herpes
-Genital Warts
-Gonorrhea, complete with yellow drippy stuff
-Assorted fungi
-Assorted boils, also with drippy stuff
-Chlamidia
-Crab bites
-Siphylis
-Infections
…And many more!!
*puke-o-rama*
He BETTER don’t give me any shit about the way I turned out.
by Kaiser Dämmerung January 25th, 2006 at 6:58 pmMy dearest Kai *muaks*
Yeah, I miss.. naw, nevermind…
I’m glad everything’s going fine and dandy between you and your caveman.
Aprovecho este cambio de tema para spammear tu area de comments con esto:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/regina-retina
…I don’t flame anymore, now I talk pics and bake.
-Code.
PD. I’ll always count my foreskin-less blessings.
by Anonymous January 25th, 2006 at 9:00 pmFe de errata: “take pics”
by Anonymous January 25th, 2006 at 9:01 pmCode: tu photoblog = Awesomeness!!!
by Kaiser Dämmerung January 26th, 2006 at 1:48 am..and I love you.
by Anonymous January 26th, 2006 at 10:36 amNaw, sigue chequeando a cada rato y si haces un blog en flickr me añades, si?
Awwww…. cue la guitarrita y la flauta en tono triste y melancólico …
Desde que SinRumbo muriooooo
No todo ha sido igual en nuestras viiiidaaaas
Desde que dejamos de ser amigoooooos
Ya no han vuelto a sanar bien nuestras heriiiidaaaaas
Desde que el foro ese ya no estaaaaaa
No hay donde desahogar nuestras peeeenaaaas
De vuelta a nuestras vidas ha de seeeer
Hasta que el destino nos devueeelvaaa
ok, ya, se me acabo la musa …
by Anais January 26th, 2006 at 4:19 pmAnais, esa es la cosa mas….
FUCKING CHARRA QUE HE LEIDO EN MILENIOS. Por el amor de Satán deberías dedicarte a componer lírica de reggaetón.
by Kaiser Dämmerung January 26th, 2006 at 11:56 pmAwwww, you hurt my feelings!
Yo lo q quiero escribir es líricas para ambient-reggaetón cristianoooo
Gracias Gracias! jejejeje
PS: Para los q no captaron, la letra fue joda … it was MEANT to be lousy
by Anais January 29th, 2006 at 6:06 pmWe already know you’re the queen of cheese, honey
by Kaiser Dämmerung January 29th, 2006 at 11:25 pmDear Kaiser,
by Damien McDonnald February 1st, 2006 at 2:24 amThank you for your rant. Here in Australia where I live, it was very common to be circumcised up until the mid-seventies. Since then there’s been a big turnaround and now only about 5% of new baby boys get the snip. For me the strongest argument against it is that the removal of a normal, healthy functioning part of the body is something that should only be undertaken with the consent of the patient. To have a nose job, you have to be sixteen. To have your appendix removed, it’s got to be malfunctioning. Taking away your baby’s right to choose, and leaving your own sexual preferences scarred into his penis forever, can really only be called barbaric. Good on you for saying so. Having a foreskin rules.
Interesting point of view from the other side of the globe, Damien. I’ve always had the notion that circumcision has never been so popular in australia, but I had no idea it actually ever reached a high point, especially in the swingin’ 70’s.
by Kaiser February 1st, 2006 at 11:31 amSo that means there’s a bunch of 30-40 year olds out there with snipped willies. Weird…
Here’s the birthday card my wife wrote to me:
“I love the feel of your penis in my mouth, hands, or body. I’m grateful you are intact.
“Ready for your birthday blowjob?”
That says more than I can.
by Michael February 2nd, 2006 at 10:03 pmWHOA!
Michael, your wife’s a keeper.
*HAPPY* birthday, indeed.
by Kaiser February 3rd, 2006 at 2:35 pm