MMORPG. Try saying that ten times faster. The acronym stands for "Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game," or, as some of us have come to know games of that genre, Digital Crack.
Let’s face it people. Chat rooms can be a bit addictive (they were for me at first when I discovered the wondrous world of Internet) and, when you combine that people vs. people interaction with the questing, collecting, leveling and hack & slashing typical of a Role Playing Game, or RPG, you have the ultimate geek’s wet dream. MMORPG’s are notorious for ruining many a geek’s social life (at least, the small handful that actually has one) and carry on a nasty reputation for making people forget to shower, go to work, or tend to their spouses.

I first had my experience with an MMORPG a few months ago with KNIGHTS ONLINE, which is a free, gigantic virtual smorgasbord of eager geeks and nasty beasts. For a free game, it is an impressive virtual world where you will not believe that you’re actually not paying a single dime for roaming it’s beast-infested lands. Even though the game is rather entertaining at first, it quickly wears down with repetitive quests and lengthy leveling methods, where you actually have to spend a lifetime for your character to become a respectable ass kicker. Still, the game can be quite fun if you round up a party and start slaying nasties.

At first, I thought this game would be a danger to my social life, seeing as I never seem to share enough time with my b/f (why the hell does our time together have to fly so fucking fast!!!! ARGH!!!), but I managed to control it. Soon enough I got tired of it and forgot I even had it on my laptop. Until a few weeks ago. I got in again to see if I could relive the old glory days, but I found out that since I had been out of commission for almost 6 months, my characters had been wiped (including a level 27 Cleric… *sob, sniff* ). I got so pissed off at the game that I started to look for other similar free MMORPG experiences, since commercial titles often charge you $10-15 monthly to roam around in their servers (Some of them are totally worth it, like World of Warcraft and City of Heroes/City of Villains). But I just don’t have the time and will to try to get the most out of those 15 bucks. I downloaded a few apps that claimed to be THE shit when it comes to free online role playing, but they were mostly sloppily made stinkers made by amateurs. Until I stumbled unto this:

GUILD WARS. Yes, it is a retail game. You have to pay for it. But only once. The game does not charge you for absolutely ANYTHING after. And not only do you get jaw-dropping graphics, you get a superb gaming experience. This game is like an MMORPG hybrid. When you venture into it’s wilderness, you don’t bump into a gazillion other players, instead you get a map exclusively for you and your party. You only interact with the rest of those players inside the main cities, whose servers are divided into districts. This is both a blessing and a curse, since players that practice the wonderful art of N00b Slaying will be a bit dissappointed (N00b = Beginner). But for that, the game built an awesome player vs. player arena, where NOBODY is a N00b (you can create a powerful character from the beginning so new players don’t feel at a disadvantage) and all you n00b abusers out there will get a taste of humility when somebody that created his character just minutes ago can totally outmaneuver you and kick your bully ass if they play their cards right (or in this case, spells). All this for a one-time payment of $55, which I plunk down all the time for a PS2 game.
I read every review I could about this game and they all agreed that even though it’s a hybrid, it clearly has enough redeeming factors to stay a close second right behind the mac-daddy of MMORPG’s, World of Warcraft.

At one time I became so focused on this game that I mentioned it to my b/f countless times, urging him to read the same reviews and to come in contact with a ghost of his past, the evil, highly addictive phantom of Ultima Online. He told me horror stories about people who became addicted to this game, and warned me, out of experience, that if I get into a game like this, similar stuff could happen to me. I could get sucked into a virtual void where my relationship with him, family or friends would just fuck up to the point where I could call in sick to work just to stay home and play all day (my b/f actually did that when his addiction level was at his peak. Yeesh!). I became a little paranoid, and for a while I gave up the idea and was resigned to get my MMORPG fix with tiny little Knights Online, but then something weird happenned. My b/f was getting slightly interested in the game, and I guess the little MMORPG bug left by Ultima Online wasn’t quite dead yet. He proposed that we both buy it, and, in case a nasty habit develops, at least we can both make a LAN party and share our geeky addiction together. Awwwwww, isn’t he the sweetest?

So we bought the thing. It was weird, since I got off work late and I REALLY wanted us to buy the game, so we dashed and arrived there like 2 minutes before the doors were shut. I didn’t know what to expect, since I could detect a bit of hesitancy in my b/f’s face. Especially after being devilishly tempted by shiny new expansions of Ultima Online. We bought Guild Wars and ran home, and after stuffing our faces like piglets, it began. A bit of a rocky start, since my b/f’s computer was having some major flicker and lag problems, but a quick visit to the website’s tech support fixed it in no time and we were on our way to geek heaven.
We have spent most of the weekend questing, he sits on his machine while I lay on his bed on my laptop for hours on end, cursing non-stop when we get pummelled and celebrating like little bitches when we cream a particularly hard mission. But we try not to make it the highlight of our time together. We still take time to do the usual stuff, which of course, I won’t go into detail, since this is not the Playboy letters section. (Now THAT’S roleplaying)

I must say that throughout the weekend I have not felt the need to abandon aspects of my normal life to come and sit here and play until my eyes hurt. That, I think, is the game’s fault. The game is excellent, but it’s not "perfect ten" excellent, which I think it’s brilliant, since I don’t feel compelled to be into it every moment of my life. That single detail makes the game PERFECT for me and my partner. And I hope that it keeps us entertained and complements our bonding for a long while to come.
Bring on the expansions, biatch!

My character

His name’s Dorian Greyback. He’s a nasty necromancer/elementalist that can hex your sorry ass into next week. If you play the game and see him around, don’t be a bitch and say hi.
I know, he may look a bit queer (Now there’s a surprise. A queer-looking magician), but you haven’t seen homo characters until you check out the models for the "Mesmer" class. Now THOSE are some raging queens. Complete with Mardi-Gras masquerade and leather pants. I shit you not.

I cooked this guy up to resemble one of Sephiroth’s clones from the Final Fantasy: Advent Children CG movie, which I have been waiting for on DVD for AGES. Square-Enix, what the fuck is your problem!!!!!… *Ahem* Errr…. Sorry. geek outrage. Moving on…
In this game it is allowed to pick a secondary profession (which makes for some awesome skill combos), so my secondary skill is Elementalist. Not only does my character siphon the life out of you, he also burns, electrocutes and freezes it to a crisp.
And before you say anything… yes, his last name was chosen in honor of that rat-bastard werewolf in Harry P. and the Half Blood Prince. I know by now you must be overwhelmed with so much geekery, but I’m sorry. I just have to gush. I LOVE this game. But don’t get me wrong. I’m not IN LOVE with this game, I just LOVE it.
Crap. I sound like a guy trying to dump his girlfriend and stay as a friend with benefits. But what can I say. Once a geek, ALWAYS a geek.

Posted in Dark Soul, Geek Stuff |

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