If you live on this Island (or have read blogs or news related to it) then you’re probably familiar with last weekend’s display of mass stupidity caused by unfounded rumors spread over the radio by some fucking bastard with an agenda. THE GASOLINE’S GONNA END!!! EVERYBODY RUN TO THE STATIONS AS IF THERE WAS NO TOMORROW!!!
A strike caused by "people" (truckers, really, the term people is applied VERY loosely) who only care about their own goals being met at the expense of everyone else’s well being, jump-started the notion that there would be a shortage of fuel, since no trucks would be delivering it. Countless times before these neanderthals have gone on strike while the gas stations remain intact. Why would it have to happen now?
Their fun little antics nearly cost me the whole weekend. I had planned to spend it all in the company of my other half, so, since I had only a 1/4 of a tank left in my car and no hopes of finding an open gas station (or at leas one where the line wouldn’t reach over 30 vehicles), I had to economize and stay home last friday. Which truly sucked sweaty monkey balls.
The next day, the hunt for liquid gold began. I surveyed the local gas stations, only to find them barren, with balls of straw rolling around like in an old western. The occasional gas truck sped by, followed by an undending line of eager maniacs, all looking desperate while the truck driver looked smug and pleased with himself. After all, he was considered now a savior, even though surely after the strike died they would demonize him and his peers just like in the old days. I went on, and a while later I found a Texaco with about six cars waiting in line, while all the pumps were occupied by not-so-happy campers. I decided to wait there, considering that yesterday the same place had thrice that amount of cars waiting. After a while I see no movement, and I learn that there’s actually no gas left there, and people have been waiting for the truck since 9 a.m. (it was noon.) I decide to wait as well, thinking that the truck must be well on it’s way.
I had called my non-marital life companion (hehe!) and he was on the same business as me, but with worse luck. He waited a while with me on the phone trying to cheer him up (and failing miserably, since I felt like shit as well), but since he tends to have as much patience as a sugar-ridden 5 year old, he left a few minutes later. A smart choice, since things didn’t get better even at my post. I decided to buy some crap inside the mini mart and I ask the skank behind the counter when was the truck supposed to arrive. She says, with a face of mock concern: "They say that about 4 p.m., but we’re not really sure since they said the same thing last night and they arrived like 3 hours later…" That settled it. It was absurd that I had to waste my time there for an hour but the fact that the gas truck would arrive in about four hours more was preposterous. I payed and got the hell out of there, graciously donating my very privileged spot on the gas pump to an unsuspecting shithead who didn’t know what he was getting into. I went home and got ready to spend the rest of the weekend at my b/f’s, even if it meant having to walk everywhere until the gas crisis was over. I NEEDED to see him.
On the way there, since some poor soul on the gas station informed me that further down the block there was a station that was dispensing gas but had a huge line, I decided to check on it. I saw about ten cars before me, and people were actually getting gas, so I took a chance and got in line. Strangely enough, it was moving swiftly. In a matter of about 15 minutes, I was out of there. I felt like a fucking idiot for not going there in the first place, but I hadn’t noticed the line of cars before and I was almost in front of the place at some point, which means that they could have gotten their tank reserves filled recently.
Gas issues aside and with a comforting full tank, the rest of the weekend was rather interesting. I won’t go into details, since my awesome b/f already gave an account of it on his own (and more frequently updated) blog. Let’s just say I had an AWESOME TIME doing absolutely nothing at all. I can’t wait to do it again… and again… and again…
It was funny that after the strike was over and sunday was coming to an end, we noticed a new outbreak of hysteric people waiting in huge lines on several gas stations, only to find out that somebody else had spread yet another rumor concerning a renewed strike, only to be mocked later by experts and politicians saying it was all a false alarm spread by the same gas retailers, hoping to pump up sales again. And half the island believed it. What bastards.
It was the third time that the flock of lambs that inhabit this Island reacted in panic to an idiotic, highly implausible rumor, since just las friday, a day after the strike had started, some genious decided to spread over the media that the ATM service would be cut off as well. It was hilarious to see people waiting in endless lines on ATM’s all over the country, terrorized that their precious little card would be rendered useless for god knows how long. Soon enough, the true God of ATM’s (Richard Carrión) gave a press conference saying it was all impossible bullshit. I would have loved to see the faces of people who waited for hours on an ATM.
All this debacle made me realize how poorly prepared everybody is when it comes to surviving in a world that is rapidly running out of fossil fuel and is relying a little bit too much on electronic, intangible currency. Hybrid cars are not an option, since with the sudden raise on gas prices you’ll be paying almost the same in gas as a normal one, and, of course, since they’re so fucking new, nobody knows how good they are in the long run. I might as well buy a bicicle, since mass transport in this coutry is a fucking joke. Hell, this whole Island has transformed into one big fucking joke without a punchline. Compared to other places in the caribbean we may be doing fine, but still, if this is what fine means, I might as well pick up my shit and move to a cave in the mountains. Or move to Canada.
I may freeze my ass off, but at least I could get married there.

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