Clark Gable: So, my dear madam, have you ever had any boyfriends or any type of relationships with anyone, ever?
Vivien Leigh: No, never.
Clark Gable: Would you like to have one?
Vivien Leigh: (Gasp!) You bet your impossibly simmetric mustache I would!
The resulting kissing scene was so horrifyingly sappy it induced a sudden outbreak of projectile vomiting in the small theater where the movie’s first screening took place. All the unlucky attendants drowned in their own bile as the place flooded with gallons upon gallons of puke. When the theater doors were pried open to see if anyone had survived the debacle, the violent jet of barf that drained from the room killed four rescue workers and flooded the whole building, making eight other innocent people slip and break their necks. The puddles of sick that seeped outside smelled so vile, that people who came near it got so incredibly disgusted they started throwing up uncontrollably as well, creating a chain reaction of incessant barfing that rippled through the entire city. Within hours the whole town was engulfed in a fetid, disgusting cascade of puke that slowly drowned it in it’s entirety, only to be forgotten in time, and talked about it urban legends, like some kind of ill-smelling Atlantis.
It will be two months in eight days
by DarK SouL November 30th, 2004 at 11:20 am